


A Father's Love

by xxTigerAvatarxx



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-11-29 04:31:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxTigerAvatarxx/pseuds/xxTigerAvatarxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Edward's hatred towards Hohenheim wasn't simply because he had abandoned his family? What if his father had done something truly horrible to his first born son, such as alchemically experimenting on him before he reached the age of three? Edward hides a horrible secret from his brother and his friends. But all secrets eventually come to light… No matter how terrible they may be.  What will happen when the Fullmetal Alchemist's secret is revealed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to little-star14 :) Cuz she's awesome! Also, the rating is for child abuse/experimentation (maybe some incest rape… not sure yet…) and for yaoi goodness in later chapters :) Don't like it, don't read it!

It began as any other day.

There was a festival in the heart of the city on this particularly warm April afternoon, and the residents of Central couldn’t have been more enthusiastic.  The wild laughter and shouts of the younger children filled the streets as they ran and played together in between the make-shift vendors, being sure not to disturb their parents as they admired the crafts at each stall.  The world outside was happy.  There were no wars to be fought, no outstanding criminals in need of capture... nothing in particular to suggest that this day could change two alchemists’ lives forever.

In fact, the small office on the second floor of Central Military Headquarters was bustling with quite an unusual surge of activity.  As the Second Lieutenants, Breda and Havoc, bustled around sorting paperwork for their superior officers, the other members of Mustang’s team were preoccupied in their own share of responsibilities: the young sergeant hurriedly answering phone calls and jotting down information, the grey-haired warrant officer haunched over his desk, scribbling down the last of his preliminary report while wiping the sweat from his brow, and the First Lieutenant trying her best to keep the peace in the side office of one Roy Mustang.

“What the hell are you trying to do, Mustang?”  The angry blonde slammed his flesh hand down on the desk, causing a few of the papers to listlessly float down to the floor from its surface.  His eyes blazed with an undying hate for the placid colonel seated before him, elbows resting on the desk with his gloved hands folded calmly under his nose, hiding the growing smirk from the other occupants of the room.

“Whatever are you referring to, my dear subordinate?”  The hidden amusement on his face laced itself in Mustang’s tone, only serving to increase the anger boiling through the seething teenager on the opposite side of the mahogany surface.

“You know damn well what I’m ‘referring to’!”  Edward mocked, before returning his heated glare to his CO.  “Why do keep throwing these worthless missions on me?  If you don’t have anything important for me to do, then at least give me the satisfaction of using your face as my next sparring partner!  ‘Investigation of a Series of Armed Threats at Kutherton’?  What the hell is that?!  Did I become a _street_ _cop_ without my knowledge, or do you just enjoy fucking with me?”

“I assure you, Fullmetal, that these smaller threats are of upmost importance to our country's security.  If I had anything on the Stone, you know full well that you would be the first to know.”  The raven haired man slowly stood from his leather chair and walked to the front of his desk, forcing the teen to back up a few steps at his advancement.  When Mustang leaned back against the wood, Edward once again squared his shoulders in defiance.  “Unfortunately, nothing has come up for some time... And I’m a busy man.  You can’t just expect me to whip up some fantastic adventure for you because you tell me you’re bored.  I have more important things to worry about, much _bigger_ than yourself.”

  “WHO’RE YOU CALLING AN ATOMIC SHRIMP SO SMALL THAT EVEN FLEAS MAKE CRACKS ABOUT MY HEIGHT?!”  The older man laughed.

“I don’t think I’ll ever tire of your childish over-exaggerations, Fullmetal...  I suppose that’s a perk to keeping you around.”  The older man laughed at the restrained growl he received in response.

“Damn it, Mustang!  Stop treating me like a goddamn kid!”  The Colonel seemed indifferent to the youth’s outburst and once more stood tall and advanced towards the blonde.  No sooner had Edward taken his first backpedalled step, that his knee bumped into the green leather sofa and he found that he was trapped.

“I will stop treating you like a ‘kid’ only when you start behaving as an adult, Edward.”  Mustang’s breath was hot as it fanned over the boy’s face, but the younger alchemist refused to show any trepidation.  He stared defiantly back up at his CO, waiting for the older man to finally back off, his eyes glinting dangerously in the sunlight streaming in from the bay window.

A knock sounded at the door, and Lieutenant Hawkeye rushed over to answer it, the threat of her gun suddenly feeling useless and small in the tense office with the arguing alchemists.

“Colonel Mustang, sir!”  Warrant Officer Vato Falman entered the room, stiffly saluting as he passed through the doorway and eyed the uncomfortable scene before him.  The Colonel leaned back from the blonde an inch and looked over to the new arrival.

“Falman.  What do you have for me?”  The Flame Alchemist replaced himself in his chair and sat down behind his desk, acting as though the teenager was no longer in the room.  Vato strode over to the Colonel, rambling as he walked.

“Sir, we’ve located the facility used in the abandoned chimera research.  One of our lower-ranking officers stumbled upon it this morning and reported that the research was not as ‘abandoned’ as we had anticipated.  Apparently, the chimeras that he witnessed couldn’t have been transmuted too long ago, as most were still alive in their confines without any visible food or water source...”

“And the alchemist involved in the transmutations?”

“Gone, sir.  As you expected.”  Mustang let out a long, drawn-out sigh as he contemplated hitting his head against the wooden surface of the desk.  However, as he felt this would only serve to worsen his growing headache, he refrained from this form of self-injury and instead watched his subordinates with calculating eyes, hiding behind his authoritative mask.

“... Chimeras?”  The Colonel raised his eyes to glance at the mass of gold and red standing before him.  He had almost completely forgotten that the Fullmetal boy was still in the room.  Of course, he hadn’t heard about the recent case, a supposedly abandoned chimera research lab just beyond the Central border, as he had been away on his own suedo-missions.  Roy dismissively returned his eyes to the tall officer, ignoring the teenager completely.

“Are the chimeras healthy?  Or at least in good shape?”  The warrant officer raised a sharp brow at the flame colonel.

“From what I understand, sir, ten of the fourteen are still very much alive... Malnourished, but otherwise healthy.  Also-”

“-There’s _more_?”  Mustang sighed again, massaging his temples.  Falman appeared temporarily flustered, as though he wasn’t certain it would be in his best interest to continue, but pressed on nonetheless.

“Yes, sir.  The report indicates, sir, that there may be a _human_ chimera somewhere amongst the mess, though I’m not sure I believe that...  Private Nowack claims that he stumbled upon a young boy in the lab, with the ears and tail of a black lab.”  Mustang’s interest immediately piqued.

“Well, then... This changes things a bit doesn’t it?”  The Colonel placed his chin atop the web of his interlaced fingers, and smirked confidently at the other three occupants of the room.  “Lieutenant Hawkeye.”

“Sir!”  Her military training kicked in and she immediately straightened her back, standing at attention with her right arm poised in a respectful salute.

 “Rally the men.  Inform them that they will all be taking a short field trip with me tomorrow to investigate the recent developments on this case.  I expect all five members of my team at the Central train station bright and early to catch the first train out of here.  The sooner we leave, the sooner we’ll return...  Hopefully, with a human chimera in our custody.”  Hawkeye blinked, and Falman voiced her confusion at the Colonel’s statement aloud.

“Five, sir?  Don’t you mean six?”  Calmly, the alchemist sighed, unlocking his fingers and bringing his right fist up to rest on his jaw while his left mindlessly picked up a pen and tapped it against the wood.

“No, Falman.  I meant what I said.  Fullmetal will not be joining us.”  The resulting explosion rocked the small office, causing the Warrant Officer to duck behind the couch for shelter from the raging blonde ball of alchemic fury.

“WHAT?!”  Edward stalked over to the desk, looking as though he was prepared to kill, and slapped his palms down on the desk.  The force of his steel automail hand on the polished wood was enough to cause the surface to splinter and crack slightly under its weight.  Mustang eyed the cracking wood, the amusement from earlier now completely gone from his expression.

“How can you say that?!  This case obviously _revolves_ around human transmutation and you said that I would be allowed _free reign_ when it came to this shit!  How can you sit there and take that all back?!”  Mustang raised an eyebrow, shifting his gaze from the ruined desk surface to his livid subordinate.  He could scarcely remember a time when he had seen the boy so angry, not that it was a rare occurence for him to blow up over the tiniest things...  But he couldn’t an instance where Fullmetal literally appeared to be retraining himself from throttling the man before him.

“This is not a job for _children,_ Fullmetal.  You are under my command, and as such, you _will_ follow my orders without argument.  Do I make myself clear?”  Apparently not, as the boy continued to rant and rage about in front of his desk.

“But I know more about this kind of stuff than _anybody_ else in the military, you bastard!  I took over Tucker’s research remember?  I _decoded_ his notes!  I can help you, damn it!  You can’t even look passed your own agenda to see that you _need_ me for this case!  I can’t believe you’re still treating me like a goddamn child!”

“ENOUGH!”  Mustang abruptly stood from his chair, mirroring Edward’s position and placing his face less than an inch from the other’s face, their noses almost touching.  “I’ll repeat what I said earlier, _Major._ ”  He spat the boy’s title out as an insult, reminding him of his place.  “You are a child as long as you refuse to act like an adult.  You’re staying here.  _End_ of discussion.”  Each word from the Flame Alchemist’s mouth dripped with venom.  He was done with this conversation... done with the stupid child who could never seem to learn his place.  Calming himself down, he righted himself and walked to the window, anticipating the slam of the door on Edward’s way out of the office.  He was wrong... as he always was.

“No.”  The Colonel jerked violently as though he had been slapped.

“ _No_?”  Edward stood his ground, though the Colonel hadn’t moved from his spot at the window, and calmly continued after a deep breath.

“No.”  He repeated calmly, causing Mustang to swiftly turn around and glare at him, looking about ready to openly slap him where he stood.  He continued before his CO could open his mouth to yell.  “You want me to act like an adult, right?...  Well, here’s me following your orders, _sir_.  I’m genuinely sorry for my earlier behavior.  I know that it was childish and wrong on my part and I accept full responsibility for my actions.  However, this case means more to me than you know...  And, as I possess the necessary knowledge to be useful to you in this situation, I kindly ask you to reconsider your decision, sir.”  With a slight hesitation, Edward bent at the waist and bowed as deeply as he dared.  “Please take me with you.”

The office settled into a shocked silence at Edward’s submissive display, each of the three adults staring at the child’s respectfully held position.  Falman suddenly felt the need to sit in the couch he had before hidden himself behind, startled at Edward’s sudden change in behavior.  The first Lieutenant appeared to be very concerned, brown eyes reflecting her worry as she stared at the boy before her.  Mustang, himself, was speechless.  He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, dubious of the teenager’s intentions and half-believing the boy to be mocking him.  His tone, however, had been nothing but sincere... and Mustang had felt the unwillingness with which he had performed the display.

“... At ease, Fullmetal.”  The boy instantly straightened his back, flashing a brief salute at the Colonel before standing normally again, though his posture appeared a bit straighter.  Mustang narrowed his eyes again at his subordinate, his suspicion quickly rising.

“What are you playing at?”  Edward appeared irrefutably startled by this accusation, pouting his lip out at the realization that the Colonel thought it was some sort of game to him.

“I only want to provide my assistance with this case in any way that I can, and use our findings to further my own research...  And, in all honesty, you won’t even know what to do with the human chimera once you actually find him...  _If_ you do find him, and that’s a big ‘if’, he’s not going to just come quietly...  You’ll need me for that.”

“And what makes you feel as though you are better qualified to deal with this creature any more than the other members of my team?”  Edward visibly flinched at the term ‘ _creature’,_ and struggled to come up with an answer for his CO.  The _true_ answer was on the tip of his tongue... But there was no way he could admit that out loud in such an open military setting.  Even if they had been alone, Edward would never tell Roy Mustang, of all people, what continually ate at him day after day...

“Nina.”  He resolved.  Mustang faltered for a moment, his calm exterior flickering to pity before being replaced by his mask once more.

“Alright, Fullmetal, you win.”  Edward barely contained his look of happiness as he danced around the office in victory.

“Thanks, Mustang!  You won’t regret this, I promise!”  He yelled as he raced out the door and into the hallway before the man could change his mind.  Roy shook his head with a small smile and seated himself in his chair, focusing on the paperwork in front of him, and began signing away with a newfound fervor.

By chance, Fullmetal had been right: Mustang wouldn’t regret this decision for a single second the remainder of his life.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“So... this is it, huh?”

The basement of the old house was nothing short of disgusting.  Empty boxes, thick metal cages, and scattered papers littered the floor of the large room before them, and each member of the team wrinkled their noses in disgust at the foul smell radiating from the snarling beasts.  Though not nearly as boisterous as the chimeras at Tucker’s residence had been, Edward still found it difficult to focus on anything besides their anguished cries, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes at the screeching.

“This place is a fucking mess!  It’s going to take a lifetime and a half just to sort everything out!”  As if to prove his point, Mustang stooped low and plucked a bloodied sheet of paper from the floor, sighing in agitation when he discovered the writing on it to be unsalvageable.  He angrily kicked an empty beer can across the room and placed a hand to the bridge of his nose, rubbing slowly.  “Alright...  We’d better get to work.”

With an indignant noise of protest from one Jean Havoc, the Colonel reached for a rat carcass, stripped of its meat, lying on the floor and threw it into a nearby trash bin.  Wordlessly, he grabbed the bin and another one like it and thrust it in front of the other military personnel.  

“This bin,” he gestured to the one on his right, “will be for papers, cardboard, glass, etcetera.  And this one,” waving a hand to the trash can on his left, “will be for anything dead. Any questions?”  When no response was received, he turned on his heel and began to shuffle through the files on top of the large desk on the outer wall of the room, sorting them into three piles: scrap, useful, and to-be-determined.  Before long, Hawkeye found herself on the opposite side of the room as the Colonel, using a notepad to document everything she saw, and soon the other men began to help out in whatever way they could.

Vato Falman assisted the Colonel with the plethora of messy sheets and manila envelopes thrown around the room, and both Breda and Havoc got to work inspecting the vials of liquid they had discovered in the far corner, documenting them as a possible injection of some sort.  The young sergeant made his way from one corner of the room to another, snapping as many photographs as he could of the scene, not missing an inch of the room’s surface area in his endeavor.  Various chalk circles colored the walls, some having been simply drawn and hastily erased, but most with more intricate detail lacing their outer edges.  Fuery made sure to take plenty of photographs of these.

Noticing the stark and unusual silence settling around his team, Mustang suspiciously glanced up from his work, wondering what the hot-headed teenager was doing to render him so speechless.  When he finally located the boy, Edward was seated, cross-legged on the floor, in front of one of the many cages in the room.  His auto mail arm was raised to rest its hand component on the metal bar, and he was tapping his forefinger against the steel, resulting in a faint _chink_ -ing sound.  Mustang sighed.  _Why couldn’t Edward stay away from danger and sort paperwork like the rest of them?_

“Fullmetal, stay away from those cages.  We’ll deal with them after we’ve sorted out the doctor’s research, and I don’t want you teasing them.”  The Colonel demanded in a stern voice, watching with focused eyes as the boy stayed on the floor, ignoring the order.  It wasn’t defiance, Mustang knew, or he would have received some choice words from the blonde instead of the haunting silence which insued.

“Fullmetal?”  Edward jerked as though he was hearing the Colonel speak for the first time and slowly glanced up at his superior, causing a startled gasp to break from Mustang’s lips.

It was as though he was being shoved through a wormhole, back through time, by the look of sadness in the teenager’s eyes.  He could only remember a few instances were Edward had actually cried in front of him, or, as he should say, simply not bothered with hiding his tears from the man.  Both with Nina’s death, and his encounter with that psychotic serial killer early on in his military career, Edward had broken down, his sadness far too immense for his frail body to contain it any longer.

It was times like this, staring into the Fullmetal Alchemist’s sorrowful eyes, that Mustang was reminded of just how frail the boy truly was.  He wasn’t some military machine, made to kill.  He wasn’t a vengeful, blood-thirsty animal...  Edward was a fifteen year old boy who had been hardened by his struggles, and couldn’t seem to escape the shroud of darkness which loomed over him.

“Edward, what-”  The boy whipped his head back around, not allowing Mustang to see the tear fall from his eye as he hastily wiped it away. 

“How could anyone do this?  They’re in so much pain...”  His voice was broken, strained by the crushing sorrow of the sight before him: a dead chimera; stomach so unbelievably shrunken in that it was impossible for anyone to doubt how it had died..  It had the body of a wolf, with the face and coloring of a leopard... and Edward felt for the poor beast.

“... Edward, you shouldn’t be here.  Why don’t you help Falman with the paperwork, and I’ll take over this job?”  Mustang knelt down and placed a calming hand on his subordinate’s shoulders, feeling them tense with grief and confusion at the world.  Edward quickly, but politely, shrugged the touch away.

“I can’t.  I promised you that I would help you find the human chimera, and that’s what I plan to do.  I never said I would do your goddamn paperwork.”  He then stood from the floor and began moving the boxes he found into one of the corners of the room, effectively clearing out their workspace and leaving his objective with no place left to hide.  

Edward huffed a sigh, swiveling his head from side to side and allowed his eyes and ears to do all the work for him, using them to pick up anything out of the ordinary.  The ruffling of papers across the floor, the pained yowls of alchemically combined animals, the soft footsteps of the rest of the team on the concrete, and the patter of mice scurrying around the room... nothing to suggest a human chimera was or ever had been in the laboratory.

The blonde alchemist continued his search in frustration.  Mustang had long ago returned to the filing process with Falman and spared a glance at his grumbling subordinate who, at that moment, had lifted up the corner of fabric which was draped over a lab table to look behind it... and found _exactly_ what, and who, he had been looking for.

The area beneath the table was darkly shadowed, and this allowed for the figure to stand out all the more, his pale pink flesh sharply contrasting against the shrouded darkness around him.  Edward supposed the boy couldn’t have been older than ten.  His azure irises gleamed eerily in the dim lighting and soft, midnight ears poked out from beneath his sandy mess of hair, twitching every so often as they were greeted with a new sound.  A shaggy tail lie limply across the floor, wrapping itself lightly around his form, appearing the very same midnight color as his ears.  If Edward had to guess, he’d venture to say the child had been combined with a canine of sorts... the realization of which caused red flags to arise in Edward’s mind, but he quickly brushed them aside as he took in the boy’s terrified expression.

“Hey there.  I’ve been looking all over for you!”  Roy’s eyes immediately sharpened upon hearing this and heavy footfalls grew louder as they neared Edward’s kneeling form but, before the Colonel could speak, the blonde thrust out his left arm in warning.

“Don’t.”  Edward breathed, his golden eyes flashing dangerously in the dim lighting. 

“Is it really him?  The human chimera?”  Roy asked breathlessly, feeling his heart pounding loudly in his ears as his breath became quick and labored.  The remainder of Mustang’s team lined up tentatively behind their commanding officer, looking on the scene in apprehension.  Slowly, the blonde nodded before returning his eyes to the trembling child pressed up against the far wall.

“Hey there, buddy.  You don’t have to be afraid anymore, okay?  I’m going to get you out of this nasty place.  You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”  If the chimera boy had any interest in leaving the lab with Edward, it was easily masked by his bared teeth and low growl which were unmistakably directed at the alchemist.  Edward glanced up at his colleagues before easing himself slowly behind the curtain of fabric.  Mustang made a move to stop him.

“Don’t you dare.”  Edward hissed.  “I’ll be fine... he won’t hurt me.”

“How do you know that, Fullmetal?  He could be hostile!”  The younger alchemist huffed and blew his bangs out of his face.

“He’s just a little kid, Bastard.  He’ll be more comfortable with someone close to his age, like me, as opposed to some creepy old soldier.”  The Colonel back off easily after that, knowing in his heart that his subordinate was, as usual, dead on.  The teenager once again moved to slip  beneath the table, a gesture which only caused the low growls to increase in volume.  Heedless of the impending threat of receiving a pair of fangs somewhere unwanted, Edward continued in his efforts to move himself nearer to the creature.

Once he found he was near enough to carry a quiet conversation with the boy whilst being out of reach of those impressive canines, Edward seated himself quietly and arranged his body to a more comfortable position, sitting cross-legged facing the chimera.

“What’s your name?”  The blue eyes followed his every move, blinking only when necessary as though he was afraid that the alchemist would take advantage of his eighth-of-a-second blindness.  The sandy haired boy made no move to speak, and Edward briefly wondered if he even could.

“Well, I’m Edward.  Edward Elric.”  He continued on, smiling in spite of himself, wanting nothing more than for the boy to smile back at him, to make him feel less alone than he was.  The growling stopped and the teeth were concealed behind his tensed lips once again, but his face lost none of its hostility.  Edward tried again:

“How long have you been here?”  Again, no response from the boy.  The hesitance was still there, though his eyes now held a somewhat interested glow.  The alchemist sighed.

“How about I tell you a little bit about myself?”  A curt nod, and a small smile in response from Edward at the motion.  “Well, like I said before: my name is Edward Elric.  I have a younger brother named Alphonse, who I care about more than anything in the world.  He’s my little brother... I’d do anything for him.”  Another soft, bittersweet smile.

“Anyhow, my mom died when I was young, and my bastard father left us before I was really old enough to know him...  But he was a horrible man.  In fact, before he left, he made me just like you.”  At this piece of information, the midnight ears perked up and the cobalt eyes became as large as saucers.

“L... like....m....m...... me?”  At the whispered stammers,  Edward’s face broke into a wide grin and he gave a victorious laugh in spite of himself, being sure to keep his voice low enough so that Mustang and the others wouldn’t be able to hear their conversation. 

“So you can talk!  That’s great!”  The boys ears flattened themselves against the mop of hair instantly, his posture becoming guarded once more.  Edward smirked sadly.

“I suppose you thought you were alone, huh?  Thought you’d never be able to live a normal life after this; that you’d be outcasted as a freak because you aren’t human?”  His tone turned somber and he offered the chimera a small smile before reaching up and peeling away the ear coverings he always wore to hide himself from the world.  The boy stared as Edward revealed his true form to the first person since before his mother passed and, after a short while, the shock on his features grew to acceptance, wonder, and (finally) overwhelming joy.

“Well, what they know won’t hurt them... will it?”  The dazzling smile Edward received in response, earned the young chimera one in return.  After a moment, the alchemist covered himself up and shuffled calmly over to where the boy was still curled in on himself, offering a comforting hand to the brunette.

“Come on, let’s get out of here.”  The dog-boy cross wrapped his tail tighter around himself and began trembling in fear once again.

“... The... mil.. military..”  Edward sighed, dropping the outstretched hand and seating himself comfortably again.

“It’s alright.  They’re friends of mine.”  He quickly fished out the silver pocket watch from his pants and carefully showed it to the chimera.  “See, I’m like you, but I’m also like them...”  The blonde alchemist stuffed the item away and looked at the boy before him with an icy, but determined glare, indicating that he meant every word which left his mouth.

“I won’t allow them to take you away or harm you in any way.  I take care of my family.  And, right now... you, Al, and I are family.  I won’t let anything happen to you.”  The azure eyes began to water at being considered a part of the young alchemist’s family, small though it may be.  The tawny head nodded slowly, black ears flopping around with the motion.

“.. Okay..”  Sensing the boy’s hesitance,  Edward gently cupped a hand beneath the younger’s jaw, moving slowly so as not to startle him.

“Do you trust me?”  Their eyes met, and suddenly the tears were overflowing the brunette’s eyes, leaking down the planes of his cheeks and dropping onto the alchemist’s hands.  He nuzzled his cheek into the older boy’s palm, hiccuping softly.

“You... you’re li.... like me.  I trust you.... brother.”  Keeping the left hand on his jaw, Edward lifted up his auto mail to gently brush the bangs from the boy’s face, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.  His protective instincts were kicking in, damn that Hohenheim!  Edward silently vowed to himself that he would be there for this boy... the way no one ever had been there for him.  The way he had always _needed_ someone to be there for him...

“Good.  But, listen, they don’t know that I’m not exactly human so, if we can keep this on the down-low, I’d really appreciate it.”  His smile was instantly returned, and the jet black tail gave an overjoyed flutter against the concrete.

“Sure!”  Edward once again held his hand out for the child but, this time, the brunette instantly grasped it, holding onto the blonde as though he were too afraid to let go.

“Alright, let’s get outta here.”  He began to crawl out from their hiding place when a gentle utterance brought him back to his companion.

“Sam..”  Edward’s head swiveled so suddenly, it was almost comical to watch.

“What?”  A soft blush rose across the chimera’s cheeks, and he lowered his eyes to the ground, before speaking a bit louder than before.

“My name... it’s Sam.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

“What do you mean you’re taking me off of the case?”  Edward screeched.  It was the very next day and the team had resumed their posts in the all-too-familiar office in Central Headquarters.  The exasperated Colonel sat behind the cherry wood desk, hands laced together beneath his chin as though he were deep in thought.  Beside him, Lieutenant Hawkeye stood with her right hand hovering threateningly over her handgun, which remained in its holster for the time being, as if daring the Fullmetal Alchemist to make another flinch in their general direction.

Edward was seething, and his golden eyes flared with an inner fire not uncommon in the youth as he stood on the threshold of the office.  The tall, lumbering suit of armor (which Mustang knew to be the alchemist’s younger brother, Alphonse) loomed behind the blonde and the Colonel could just notice a pair of dog ears peeking over his subordinate’s shoulder, twitching slightly at Edward’s raised tone.

It had been a little over an hour since they had arrived back in Central City and, after the two hour train ride, it was easy to see that everyone was irritable and exhausted from the day’s activities...  During the return trip to HQ, Edward and Sam had shared a train compartment, behaving as brothers often would, and it created a sort of unease within Mustang to see the instant attachment the two boys had formed with one another.  

The Colonel knew his duties to the military, and he knew that the existence of a fully functional human chimera wouldn’t stay under the radar for long.  The military would use Sam in their alchemic experiments, taking him somewhere far away where no one would ever be able to find him...  Mustang knew that he needed to sever the relationship between his subordinate and the chimera before they would be ripped apart for good.

A pair of soft azure eyes peered around Edward’s left side, and Mustang gave a surprised chuckle as he watched the orbs dart around the room before landing on him.  The boy’s head quickly disappeared behind his temporary shield once more, startled to find the stern man looking at him.  _Cute kid,_ Mustang mused, _it’s too bad.._

“Brother, please calm down...  I’m sure the Colonel has his reaso-”

“-Well I want to hear them from _him_!  Come on, Mustang, let’s hear it!  What’s your bullshit excuse this time, huh?”  The teenager was breathing heavily, golden eyes locked on the midnight blue irises of the man before him, who gave a frustrated sigh in return.  Silently, Mustang stood and walked around the the front of his desk, leaning back on the wood and placing his weight on his hands.

“Fullmetal...”  His subordinate’s head raised a bit, and the look of defiance faltered at the Colonel’s soft tone.  He continued,  “You’re becoming too attached to the chimera..”

“Stop calling him that!  He has a name and you know it!”  Edward growled, returning to his defensive stance in front of his CO.  Mustang simply shook his head, ignoring the last retort.

“I’m taking you off of the case, Fullmetal, effective immediately.  This matter is not open to further discussion.”  Hoping the conversation would be finished, the dark haired man returned to his spot behind the desk and made to sit in his office chair.  But, as it was expected, the blonde had a few last comments to make.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!  I’m the only one that Sam trusts!  He needs me!”  Mustang sighed in annoyance, plopping himself down in the leather chair with a tired groan.

“I don’t want to hear any more about this..”  Edward was suddenly standing in front of the desk, as he had been during their argument a few days prior.  Had he grown up so little since then?

“I don’t give a damn what you want, bastard!”  The teen growled, slapping his palms down.  “I’m not letting you take me off this case!”  Roy pressed his first two fingers to the indentations of his temples and rubbed slowly around the throbbing areas, hoping to relieve the pressure.

“Edward... please.”  The boy started at the use of his name.  “Be reasonable.  The child standing behind you... is no longer human.  He is an alchemic anomaly: a human chimera and, as such, the military is bound to find out about his existence sooner as opposed to later.  What do you think will happen to ‘Sam’ when they do?”  Edward remained stock still, allowing the information to slowly sink in and process in his brain.  After a few breaths, the boy straightened his spine a bit and cleared his throat, appearing caught off guard.

“I..  I don’t...”

“They will take him away, Edward.”  The Colonel responded sadly, refusing to look anywhere but at his subordinate.  “They’ll take him away no matter what we try to do to stop them.  It’s out of my hands.”  The teenager’s face contorted in the pained realization that his superior only spoke words of truth. 

“No!  You can’t let them!  He’s not some sort of animal!”  Alphonse suddenly placed an unfeeling hand on his brother’s left shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.  At the comforting touch, Edward lowered his eyes to the floor and sniffed a little, the anger quickly seeping out of him.  Alphonse spoke up:

“Colonel... Surely, you can do _something_.  Not too much of him is animal... not even half...  Maybe we can still try to pass him off as a normal child!”  The older brother’s head perked up, the fire returning to his expression.

“Good thinking, Al!  We can just get him a hat, and-”

“Boys.”  The Colonel interjected, his voice quiet, but had enough force to pierce the room and still its occupants.  “Please... just stop.  You know that wouldn’t last.”  The anger returned to the blonde’s eyes and his fingernails bit sharply into the palm of his hand as his fists clenched at his sides.

“Who the hell are you to say that it won’t?”  He argued back.  

Colonel Mustang rolled his eyes in frustration and calmed the sudden urge to strangle the child.  Ever since the team had left the laboratory, Edward had acted like he was in charge of the entire goddamned operation, pretending as though he knew what was best for the chimera.  While Roy had no doubt in his mind that Edward certainly knew more than anyone on the subject of human transmutation, he was still only a child.  Though he was a true alchemic prodigy, the fact that he had skimmed over a few of Tucker’s notes did _not,_ by any means, make him an expert on the subject.

“It’s just... it’s impossible...” He lamented.  The teenager was silent for awhile; his brother and the chimera... Sam... had hardly even said a word since entering the office.

“Alchemy without a transmutation circle is _impossible_.  Human chimeras are _impossible_.  Homunculi are _impossible_.”  Edward finally countered, his face lowered to the floor and contorted in a permanent scowl.  “We’re just telling the kid to wear a goddamn _hat_.”  Mustang pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly.  The stupid kid could be so naive sometimes..

“Fullmetal..”

“Just let us try!”  The boy once more put his hands, much more gently this time, on his superior’s desk and leaned over the stack of papers on the surface.  Mustang stared back with wide eyes, for once being stunned into silence.

“Edward, I-”  The sorrow and desperation in his eyes... It was so heartbreaking...  Just like when they had first met..

“Just give Sam a chance!”  Roy could see the ghost of a tear begin to form in his eye and he trembled as he stood to grab his subordinate by the shoulders.

“ED!”  The younger alchemist raised up his arms and shook him off before reaching up and clutching the front of Mustang’s uniform.

“HE’S JUST A KID, MUSTA-”

“ENOUGH!”  With a loud cry, the Colonel shoved the blonde back, ripping the hands from his shirt, and breathed heavily, trying to regain his self control.  He closed his eyes, unwilling to look Edward in the eyes... to see his crushed hopes... that look of despair...  He shook his head and exhaled loudly.  “I’ve made my decision...  You’re off the case.  Now, please, get out of my office.” He heard the boy stand, and his heart gave a pained lurch at the realization that he had shoved Edward hard enough to actually knock him over.

“You’re making a mistake, Colonel...”  The whisper was so soft that Mustang swore it had only been the wind, but it was as cold as winter with the callousness of a knife.

“Out.”  Roy repeated, making his way back around to his side of the desk and finally opening his eyes.  His loyal Lieutenant and Alphonse were both staring at him with expressions of shock and disbelief (if emotion was even detectable on the armor’s steel face), and Mustang could sense a small touch of anger radiating from the younger Elric.

“Edward?”  Four heads simultaneously jerked up to stare at the human chimera standing in the center of the office, gripping onto the hem of Edward’s long red coat and staring imploringly into the older boy’s eyes.  “Are we leaving?”

The blonde sighed and crouched down to be eye level with the boy (maybe that was why Edward liked him so much), reaching up a hand to scratch behind one of the soft midnight flaps poking out of the sandy locks.  Sam’s thick, black tail swayed gently behind him, the tip of it falling low and allowing some of the strands to kiss the carpeted floor beneath him.

“Sorry, Sam...  You need to stay here with the big mean Colonel.”  Edward shot said ‘meanie‘ a reproachful look before giving the boy another sad smile.  “But I’ll be back real soon, okay?”  Sam’s eyes widened and his body began to tremble slightly, his grip tightening on the red cloth of Edward’s coat.

“No!  I won’t let you go!  Mom said she’d be back but then she was gone forever, and you can’t say you’ll come back or you’ll be gone, too!”  A pained look crossed the blonde’s face as little rivulets of tears began to fall down the chimera’s cheeks, and his golden eyes began calculating some way to reassure his friend.

“Sam...  Hey, I’m not going anywhere.”  Edward reached around the sobbing boy to pull him into an embrace, but the chimera pushed him away and continued to cry.

“You promised!  You promised I’d always be at your side because you need me as much as I need you!  ‘I take care of my own’, remember?  You promised!”  Sam continued to bat away the arms which attempted to grab and hold him, flinching slightly when his hand made contact with the auto mail.  Mustang, trying to get a handle on the spiraling situation, stepped forward.

“Fullmet-”  

“No!”  Sam’s expression turned to horror as he watched the Colonel approach them.  Sharp claws sprung from the tips of his fingers and the Fullmetal Alchemist flinched as they dug into the skin below his left shoulder.  “Edward, tell them the truth!  Tell them how you do it!”  Edward’s eyes went wide as he glanced around the office, checking to see if anyone had caught on to the child’s implication.  Mustang’s eyes were wide, and his face was white as a sheet, as he scrambled to compose himself.  

The blonde shut his eyes tight and knew that, with Sam being so hysterical, his secret was about to come to light...  He only hoped that he would be able to play it off as some sort of delusion on the chimera’s part..

“If they can see how you hide, then they’ll let me do the same and we can be together like you promised!  Show them, big brother!  Show them what you are!”  Edward’s face instantly paled, and his brain stopped working for what seemed like a lifetime.  He couldn’t even hear Alphonse breathing anymore and the armor beside him was stock still, the information slowly sinking in.  He swallowed thickly.

“Sam...”  He reached out with his left hand and grabbed his friend’s wrist.  The boy scrambled to claw his way out of the confinement, even baring his fangs at Edward at one point, before simply choosing to pound on the alchemist’s torso with his left fist, making contact with any part of Edward’s body that he could reach.

“We’re the same!  You can’t leave me!”  Edward reached over to take the free arm in his own, but the boy ripped out of his grasp and continued to lay insignificant and futile punches on his broad chest.  

“Sam!”  

“WE’RE THE SAME!”  He screeched, hair standing on end, fangs bared, looking every inch the animal that the military believed he was.  Edward quickly detained his other hand and shoved his arms down at his sides, holding them there and pulling the squirming body closer to him.

“SAM!”  The wide blue eyes shot open in surprise and the raining attacks stopped altogether as the older boy shook him slightly.  Once Edward sensed the chimera was finished in his temper tantrum, the anger having left him, he loosened his grip on the boy’s wrists and pulled him into a tender embrace.  “... Just... Stop.  Please.. just stop.”

The door to the small office was wide open, and the remainder of Mustang’s team had squeezed themselves into the doorway at the beginning of Sam’s ranting to see what the commotion was, but were now completely frozen in place.  Havoc’s cigarette threatened to fall from his mouth and Falman’s mouth didn’t seem to be capable of closing.  Sam looked around the office in horror, fully realizing the extent of what he had just revealed in his anger.

“I.. Brother, I...”  Edward stood up slowly and ruffled the boy’s hair, softly tousling the locks, before turning and walking to the exit.


	4. Chapter 4

“Al, come on... let’s get out of here.”  There was no clanking of metal to signify that his brother was, indeed, following in his path, and Ed turned around to look behind him.  Alphonse hadn’t moved an inch, and wasn’t even looking in his brother’s direction.  Instead, his glowing eyes were focused solely on the chimera in front of him, staring at the boy as though he was seeing him for the first time.

“Alpho-”  Lieutenant Hawkeye was suddenly behind him, blocking his only exit, and laid a gentle hand on his metal shoulder.  Colonel Mustang placed himself just behind the younger Elric, asserting his authority on the scene before him without having a threatening tone.  He gazed sternly at the blonde teenager standing in his office.

“... Fullmetal.  Stay.”  Edward’s head swiveled around the room once to evaluate all of his current options but, upon finding no escape routes, he shoved his clenched fists in his pockets and stood his ground in the center of the room.  Slowly, so as not to anger or antagonize the alchemist, Mustang stepped around the tall suit of armor and walked forward to stand mere inches away from his subordinate, who continued to scowl up at him through his lashes.

“The chimera... Sam...  what was he talking about just now?”  A gloved hand gestured briefly to the brunette standing behind him.  The chimera’s ears were folded back tight against his skull and his tail hung limply from the area where it fused with his spine.  His expression was absolutely piteous, bright blue eyes rimmed with red and cheeks stained with his falling tears.  Edward spared a glance at Sam before averting his eyes to the bookcase on the far wall.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about...” 

Roy scoffed.  “I think you do.  And you’re not leaving this office until I get an answer.”

“Well, you aren’t ever going to get one out of me, so I suggest you just let me leave and save yourself the embarrassment...”  Edward’s face flushed with anger, and the irritation was more than evident in his defensive stance, shoulders taut with tension.

“Fullmetal...”  The younger alchemist finally cast a glance at his CO, glaring daggers, as though daring him to take the conversation any further.

“Just drop it, Mustang.”

Roy wouldn’t be dissuaded.  He knew when someone was keeping a secret and, no matter what, he always made sure to find out exactly what they were hiding before it could do serious damage.  The Colonel wasn’t positive that what the chimera had been referring to was necessarily a secret (perhaps Sam had been stating that they were the same in that they were both results of human transmutation or that they were both damaged in some way?  Even more possible was the fact that, as far as they were aware, Sam was completely alone in the familial sense...  just like the Elric brothers), but several of the lewd comments had made the hairs on the back of Roy’s neck stand on end: something which wasn’t a normal occurrence for the Flame.  “Either we hear it from _you_ , or we force it out of _him_.”

Edward bristled.  “You wouldn’t _dare_.”  Roy crossed his arms over his chest and stared down his slender nose at the youth.

“...You know very well that I would.”  The golden eyes widened slightly and the scowl faded from his features until he was only left with that look of helplessness which Roy had become so accustomed to seeing these past few days.  Suddenly, the carpet seemed to be the most interesting thing in the world for Edward to look at..

“...What do you want from me?”  The officers in the room started at Edward’s reluctant submission, surprised at the fact that the Fullmetal Alchemist had actually given in to the Colonel’s request without so much as a broken nose on the older man’s behalf.  Edward refused to meet anyone’s eyes, even going so far as to completely turn his back to Alphonse when the suit of armor moved to face him.

“I want answers.”  Roy responded simply.  Edward mirrored the Flame Alchemist and folded his arms across his chest, but put no anger into the movement.  It was as though the boy was cold in the unusually warm office and was hugging himself to keep from shivering.  

“To what?”  The blonde replied through clenched teeth, and the Colonel had to suppress a  indignant guffaw at the idiotic question.

“Everything.  What Sam was talking about just now: ‘we’re the same’, ‘how you hide it’, ‘I protect my own’... All of it.  What does that boy know?”  If it was anything like the Colonel assumed it was, then his entire team could be on the line.  After all, not only did each member know about the Elric brothers’ predicament, but they had all gone out of their way, at some point, to cover it up and keep it hidden from the public at the expense of their jobs.  If Sam knew about Edward’s past (as well as Alphonse’s) and was taken away for military experimentation, Mustang knew very well that the secret was as good as told.  Hell, if that was the case, he should just write a fucking novel on the boys’ past and at least make some decent money before he lost his job because of it.

Edward continued to scowl at the floor, clenching his hands at his sides.  “I don’t see how that’s any of your business, you nosey bastard.”  Mustang’s eyes narrowed.

 _None of his business?  It was every inch his business if Fullmetal would be so selfish as to risk everything his colleagues had ever worked for just to help out a stupid alchemic experiment!_ Roy sighed for the millionth time that day and unfolded his arms, placing the gloved hands on his slender hips instead, and quirked a brow at the blonde.

“You do realize that you’re just making this whole situation worse for yourself, don’t you?”  That caused Edward to look up.  His eyes burned with an angry fire, eyebrows knit together, and teeth clenched, as though he were looking for a fight.. but, deeper than that... beneath the surface... there was an undeniable hesitance in the boy’s eyes..  It was an emotion that was so rare to see in the hot-headed teen that it actually took Mustang a moment to process what it actually was... 

Edward tried once more to leave, turning on his tail and grabbing his brother’s hand before striding to the exit.  He was stopped, however, when Alphonse ground his heel into the floor and pulled the armored hand away from the auto mail, refusing to follow his brother.  The state alchemist seemed shocked for a moment as it registered in his mind that, for the first time since they had begun their journey, Alphonse wasn’t willing to follow him wherever he went.

... And... that meant... that his brother... that Alphonse... didn’t trust him enough to not question him..

Bright red lights focused on the blonde, and Edward slowly turned to face his brother, staring at the armor with parted lips and tears in his eyes. 

“Brother...  please..  just answer the Colonel.”  Al finally spoke, voice softly trembling with an unregistered emotion.  Edward averted his eyes, again staring at the floor, and slowly reached for his younger brother’s hand once more.

“Al...”  The armor jerked his arm back behind him just before the blonde’s fingertips brushed the glove, and Edward’s outstretched steel arm tightened into a fist and shook slightly.

“Please.”  The hollow voice pushed he teen over the edge, and his resolve caved.  The secret... the burden he had carried with him for so long... was about to be revealed, and Edward knew that his entire life would change.  Nothing could stay the same once they all knew what kind of monster he truly was..

Edward closed his eyes in surrender and the tears threatened to fall.  A sigh escaped his parted lips, and he slowly (so slow that it was almost painful) reached over and slipped the famous red coat off of his tense shoulders, allowing the cloth to fall to the floor with a soft noise.

The other occupants in the office watched on in earnest curiosity as Edward raised his metal arm to rip the ribbon from his hair, allowing his shoulders and upper back to be covered in the golden locks as it fell from the up-do.  For a few seconds, the boy just stood there, trying desperately to slow his racing heart and put his mind at ease.  

 _Pretend as if no one’s around..._ He thought to himself, feeling his lips press tightly together in a thin line as he made to remove the plastic around his ears.  _Pretend like it’s old times... like Mom’s here.  It’s just like how it used to be...  There’s no need to be afraid.._

Slowly, his hands hesitating every few seconds as they cupped themselves over the plastic, Edward began to peel away the adhered portions of the material around the outer shell of the encasing, flinching every so often as he reached an area where the glue had cemented itself to the hair.  

When he felt that his ear coverings were loose enough to simply fall to the floor with a mere twitch of the furry triangles beneath, the blonde began to work on his leather pants.  He steadily unzipped them, feeling a hot blush stain his cheeks as a few of his companions averted their eyes.  Sam was the only one who looked on in a joyful anticipation.  The others... Mustang and Alphonse primarily... seemed somewhat concerned at Edward’s actions.

His pants hung loosely on his hips... As loosely as they could without falling to the floor around his ankles... and Edward sighed once more before shutting his eyes tight and gritting his teeth.

His ears... his tail... twitched..

And then it was all over..

Edward trembled as he stood in the center of the large office and the walls seemed to close in on him.  There was no rousing chorus of gasps as the golden fur had shot out of his forearm, growing thicker as it neared his wrist before thinning out and dispersing over the back of his hand; no cries of disgust as the long tail stretched out of the waistband of his pants and curled softly around his ankle; nothing at all to suggest that anyone had even seen the triangular, though now flattened, cat ears which now rested atop his honey colored hair.  

Tears began to stream down his face as the silence stretched on, but he refused to open his eyes to take in the scene before him.  The silence was unbearable... At least if they had made some noise, Edward would have been able to discern whether he should transmute a hiding place for himself out of the floorboards or just make a run for it.  Numb to anything besides his frenzied emotions, the razor-like claws extended from his fingertips and ripped into the skin on his left palm, causing a steady trickle of blood to fall to the ground near his feet, and his sharpened canines bit into the flesh of his bottom lip.  He struggled to maintain control of his animal half which screamed at him from every corner of his mind to run and never look back.

But how could he possibly be such a coward, when he had already played that role for the entirety of his life?  How could he run away from his little brother, the one he’d risk everything for, when he deserved an explanation...  When he deserved to know the truth..

The silence was finally broken by the Colonel himself who, thanks to Edward’s intensified hearing, had backed up substantially from where the blonde stood.

“Oh... my God...”  He stammered.  It was apparent to everyone in the room that, above all else, Mustang had not expected these circumstances..  Sam made to run over to his likeness, but the Colonel’s hand on his upper arm stopped him.  The chimera looked at him in surprise and gasped at seeing the man’s hardened expression.

Edward’s eyes snapped open instinctively and his enlarged feline eyes met Roy’s.  The midnight azure eyes widened in shock as he saw the drastically changed features of his subordinate.  Timidly, Edward swiveled his head around to glance at the others in the room, gauging their reactions while being sure to keep his ears tight against his skull.  Riza’s eyes were wide but her face was otherwise calm...  Edward took this as a good sign and relaxed slightly.  

The others’ reactions were not so reassuring..

Fuery appeared about ready to faint, and Havoc’s cigarette was rolling across the floor a few feet from where he stood, his lips still parted in the shock of the revelation. 

“Chief... what the hell?!”  The other’s remained frozen behind him, as though they were too afraid to move and Edward felt his fur stand on end in unease, causing his tail to puff up like a bottle brush.  With reluctance, the teen finally rested his eyes on the suit of armor before him, tears splashing messily down his face as his entire body shook in dread of his brother’s reaction to his true form.

What would he say?  How would he come to terms with the fact that his brother... the only family he had left in the world... wasn’t human and couldn’t even remember a time when he had been.  He raised his tear-filled gold eyes to gaze at the emotionless steel helmet resting atop the broad shoulders and distantly heard a sharp gasp emit from the hollow encasing.

“.. B... Brother?”  Alphonse reached for him, slowly stretching out his arm towards the older boy.  But before Al could even come near to touching him, Edward suddenly cried and bolted from the room, quiet sobs ripping from his throat as he went.  

The room was left in another stunned silence as they watched the boy leave.  Havoc and the other members of the team sidestepped automatically to allow the alchemist to pass, and Mustang slumped noiselessly against the hardwood of his desk, face frozen in shock.  

After a few moments of simply breathing deeply and trying to wrap his mind around his racing thoughts, the Colonel straightened up and led Sam over to the couch where he would be able to sit down and be comfortable.  Alphonse hadn’t even moved since Edward had run from the office...

Roy stood up tall, in the center of the room, and cleared his throat to get the attention of his subordinates.  

“Everyone stay here.  I’m going after him...”


	5. Chapter 5

The room was an utter disaster, and there was a satisfied certainty in Edward’s mind that not a single inch of his military dorm room had been spared from his emotional whirlwind.  The tattered green drapes seemed just about ready to fall completely off of the bent curtain rod and onto the feather covered floor.  Both down pillows had been gutted, their contents spewed over the entirety of the room, and the sheets had been shredded.  Edward had actually found that the fabric made for extremely good confetti, as he had scooped up handfuls of the scraps (along with strips of his own clothing) and thrown them angrily at any corner which he hadn’t yet touched.  

After ripping apart the wallpaper with his claws and chucking the desk chair out of the third-story window, Edward’s anger disappeared completely and he was left with only a broken, desolate, self-loathing that made everything on his existence hurt.  Steadily, his emotions overcame him and he sank into the far corner of the room, between the bed and the outer wall.  He curled himself into a trembling ball of fur, wrapping his mismatched arms around his knees and pulling them to his chest before burying his face and sobbing loudly like the child he was.

Only a few minutes ago, he had been standing in the center of his superior’s office, exposed and vulnerable in his natural state, waiting for their reactions.  Though the response hadn’t been completely negative from his acquaintances, Edward simply couldn’t bear that searching look from his younger brother... the look of confusion... of anger... of... betrayal.

Finally giving in to his animal urges, he had turned tail and ran from the room, no longer caring if he was discovered.  Hell, Mustang and the others were probably already calling for backup to haul the disgusting chimera away.  After all, no one could possibly see him the same way as they had this morning...  He wasn’t _human._ He was no better than a bothersome stray cat begging people for scraps of food... and he knew that was the lifestyle he deserved.  He didn’t deserve to be in the military, didn’t deserve to travel the world, didn’t deserve to walk beside his little brother and see the trust which laced every movement the armor made.  He didn’t deserve this life he lived... And he sure as _hell_ didn’t want to be seen by anyone at that current moment.

By some random stroke of luck, Edward’s sensitive hearing had allowed him to choose a simple and direct path to take him to his room without the nuisance of bumping into, virtually, anyone.  With the tears in his eyes, obscuring his vision, the blonde wasn’t entirely able to see where he was going and, for the first time in his life, he was thankful for his inhuman ears.  The hallways were almost bare, with most of the soldiers already seated in the mess hall on their lunch break for the day... But Edward never had luck completely on his side.

He had, very suddenly, run into what he had first suspected to be a brick wall and fallen to the floor.  He grabbed at his head in earnest to ease the splitting pain and had decided to take a few moments to collect himself, shielding his acute eyes from the harsh florescent lighting.  When he had finally opened his eyes, however, he had come face-to-face with none other than Elicia Hughes.

Correction: a _picture_ of Elicia Hughes, lying on the floor a few feet from where Edward was sitting, smiling and holding up a fluffy, oversized teddy bear.  Glancing up, the Fullmetal Alchemist saw that he had indeed run straight into the Lieutenant Colonel himself, and was greeted with an amused smirk.

“In a hurry there, Ed?”  Hughes had chuckled, holding out a hand for the boy to take.  Edward had smiled in return, grateful for the man’s generosity, what with the shitty morning he’d already had toda-

With a start, he had snatched his hand away from the be-speckled man, realizing far too late that he was still in his chimera form and that his hand (and forearm, for that matter) were still covered in golden cat fur.  Hughes’s green eyes had widened and he stumbled back a few steps as he had taken in the teenager’s appearance.  

“Ed... wha-?”  But the blonde had been on his feet and sprinting away as fast as he possibly could before Hughes had spoken another word.  Before long, Edward had arrived at his dorm room and bolted inside, slamming and locking the door behind him, breathing heavily and sobbing into the dead air around him.

That had been fifteen minutes ago...

Since then, Edward had gone on his furious tirade around the perimeter of the room, destroying everything in his path, including the majority of his clothing, and had finally collapsed to the floor, crying his heart out for the world to hear.  He was a mess...  Everything was a fucking mess...  Why did his life _always_ have to end in shit?

It was all over: the journey, their search, the friendships he had formed with he people around Amestris.  He would be locked away, experimented on, ripped apart limb-from-limb as the military alchemists tried to figure out what made him _tick_.  Maybe he would be dissected on a table next to Sam... maybe they would be allowed to at least hold hands when they finally died on those cold medical tables.. maybe.  And maybe his brother would eventually forgive him...

Edward laughed dryly.  He had about as much chance at receiving Alphonse’s forgiveness as Mustang had at giving up women...

“Fucking perverted womanizing bastard colonel...” He sniffled a little and wiped his nose and eyes with his forearm, only eliciting a fresh wave of tears at the mention of the bastard’s name.  Of course, Mustang pissed the hell out of the blonde... and Edward would be _damned_ if he ever admitted it aloud... but there was a part of him (a very small part) that cared for the Colonel.  Not enough to make Edward _like_ the man, but definitely enough to make him hurt and saddened by Mustang’s reaction.

The look on his face... it had been pure _horror_...

The teen dug his claws into the skin around his knee and felt his chest constrict with pain.  All he ever wanted was to be accepted.  He wanted people to like him, he really did... and he cared deeply about what people thought of him (call it the vain cat in him), though he never showed it.  Edward never allowed himself to care for anyone too deeply or get too attached to the  people who occupied his time, for the sole reason that he had always prepared himself for this day: the day when everything would be ripped away from him...  And now that it was finally here, was he really any more prepared than he thought he would be?

Well, it still hurt like hell... So he was obviously doing something wrong.

A soft knock sounded on the door, and Edward’s sniffles quieted, but didn’t stop.

“Ed?  Are you in there?”  The teen clamped his hands over his mouth to keep from screaming in absolute agony.  “It... It’s Roy... Can you let me in, please?”  Why couldn’t the bastard just leave him in peace?  Edward silently tried to convince himself that he wished with all his heart that someone other than Mustang had come to find him, but quickly lost that battle.  Anyone else besides the Colonel would have just been awkward and make the inevitable that more terrible..

And, if they had sent Alphonse after him... Edward wasn’t sure he could’ve been accountable for his actions..

“Edward?...”  The velvety voice came again, slipping through the door as though the barrier was made of paper and not thick wood, and the helpless tone in Mustang’s voice caused Edward to shiver slightly.  He wrapped his arms more tightly around himself and continued to sob into his arms, making sure to stay as quiet as possible.  Maybe, if the Colonel though that he wasn’t home, he would simply go away..

“Ed, please answer me...”  Roy pleaded.  Edward’s ears picked up the strain in his voice and the gentle shifts of the man’s weight as it passed from one foot to the other.  “I saw Maes in the hallway a few minutes ago and he said that you looked distraught when you passed by.  Can we just... talk for a moment?”  Edward choked out a scoff before he could stop it and grimaced as he heard the Colonel’s sharp inhale.

“... I hear you in there, Fullmeta-”

“Don’t call me that.”  The chimera hissed back, tail puffing up slightly at his _former_ name.  The name given to the _State Alchemist_ Edward Elric; the _human_ Edward Elric.  “I’m not your dog anymore..”  The man in the hallway was silent for a long while before the teen distinctly heard him crossing his arms over his chest and passing his weight onto his left foot.

“Oh?  And why would that be?”  Edward snorted and rolled his eyes, halfway comforted by the fact that his tears were already beginning to dry on his cheeks and that, soon, there would be no evidence of his weakness.  But, of course... Edward knew that to be a lie.  He could cry an entire goddamn ocean and even _that_ wouldn’t be a bigger testament of his weakness than the giant triangles perched atop his head.  This was all because of him...  Because he hadn’t been strong enough...

The blonde cleared his throat, rapidly blinking in a futile attempt to hold back his tears.  He had held them back for so long- since mom died- and the feeling was so incredibly foreign to his body that his emotions ran wild, as though he couldn’t control himself in his state of desolation.  Edward allowed his eyes to drift closed and rested his head back against the wall, chin tilting up towards the ceiling as he tried to remember how to work his mouth.

“You know why... Don’t play dumb.”  The silence stretched out uncomfortably between them, the only sound being Edward’s occasional sniffles and Roy’s awkward shuffling out in the hall.  Then, his CO called to him through the doorway, the rich velvet voice soft with emotion.

“Can I please come in, Ed?  I think I would feel much more comfortable if I could actually talk to _you_ instead of a _door_.”  Something about his words made the boy tense, and his auto mail scraped together noisily as the finger units tightened over the left knee plate with his growing anxiety.  Edward made no motion to get the door, and remained completely silent.

“Please...  I just want to talk..”  The Colonel was practically begging him now, and the softly echoing thud told Edward that he had rested his forehead on the door in exasperation.

Tugging on his lower lip (being sure to keep the canines away from the skin), the blonde reluctantly brushed his hands together before placing them to the floor.  The alchemic reaction was blinding as the blue light traveled across the floorboards and made its way over to the locked door.  Then, there was a soft _click_ and the door swung open.  The teen’s skin tingled.  He knew very well that, at any moment during their conversation, Mustang could have easily alchemized the door open, but had chosen not to... so that Edward could make the decision for himself about whether or not he wanted the Colonel’s company.

Heavy footfalls were heard from Edward’s position behind the bed and he felt his face instantly flush with embarrassment.  The room was destroyed, every inch of it ripped to shreds in Edward’s misery, and the chimera himself was only in his boxer shorts, bits of his black tank top  still clinging to the divots of his auto mail.  He also had plenty of new cuts formed around his body from where his claws had carelessly scratched against his flesh in the process of trashing his outfit.

Mustang’s footsteps faltered, and the boy peeked out from his hiding spot to see the raven-haired man swivel his head around in search of his subordinate.  The condition of the room didn’t even seem to faze him.  _Almost as though he were expecting it... the bastard,_ Edward thought with a low growl.

“Edwa-”  Mustang suddenly caught a glimpse of the silver auto mail as it was thrust up in the air in a brief ‘over here’ gesture.  He released a sigh of relief, but quickly sucked it back into his lungs once he noted Edward’s current condition, eyes going wide at his level of exposure.  He quickly crouched down in front of the boy, stern gaze softening into concern for the child.

“... Are you okay?”  The mess of blonde hair, still tied back in its usual braid, lifted to reveal a pair of moist golden irises, thick with emotion.  Red-rimmed and dulled with the inner turmoil, their gaze pierced Roy’s very soul and he quickly slipped his mask on, refusing to allow his professionalism as the boy’s commanding officer to falter.

“Never better.”  He croaked, offering a half-hearted smile.

“Fullm-”  The Colonel blanched at the glare he received from the bristling alchemist and reconsidered his tactics.  “Edward...  We need to talk about this.  It’s not something you’re going to get out of.”  Mustang had half an instinct to grimace at the quippy, snide remark he was almost guaranteed to get in response, and braced himself when he heard the teenager sigh.

“I know...”  The Colonel blinked, his mouth falling agape as he stared at the boy in front of him in shock, trying incredibly hard to ignore the way the ears twitched with every movement that Edward made.  The blonde quirked an eyebrow at his superior and gave a low chuckle.

“You seem surprised.”  The mismatched hands loosened slightly off of his legs and Edward’s tensed position began to relax a bit, though not in any amount to be substantial, and Roy mirrored his actions, seating himself cross-legged on the floor in front of him.

“I am.  I thought I was going to have to pull your teeth in order to get you to talk, but it appears as though that won’t be necessary..”  The tension returned to Edward’s shoulders and he suddenly turned his head in the direction of the windows, unwilling to meet the older man’s eyes.

“I knew this day would eventually come.  I’ve been preparing for it.”  He relented, closing his eyes in surrender at the confession.  They fell into a comfortable silence: Edward, gazing off into his own little world and, Roy, taking the opportunity to fully study Edward’s conflicting features.  Animal and man.  Feline and human.  

“So... you’re a human chimera?”  The words were out of the Colonel’s mouth before he had even decided to say them and he immediately wanted to smack himself in the face for simply stating the obvious, if only to break the silence.  Edward’s head jerked slightly as though he had been woken from a dream and he shot his commander an incredulous look.

“Yes.”  He answered slowly, as though Roy was some sort of idiot (an argument which the man couldn’t exactly defend himself against at this point...).  However, the Colonel knew that it was far better to ask stupid questions than it was to just assume... That much had nearly gotten him killed at the academy all those years ago.

“Fused with a... cat?”  Edward’s shoulders slumped and he rolled his eyes, releasing a bitter chuckle.

“Aren’t you observant.”  He quipped, leaning his head back against the wall behind him and shutting his eyes.  Mustang briefly noticed how his nose twitched ever so slightly and his upper lip was only slightly swollen.  Whoever had done the transmutation was nothing short of an alchemic genius.  A sick psychotic bastard... but a genius, nonetheless.  From what Roy could tell, the fusion had been _completely_ seamless, and it made the older man question in his mind whether there would be any consequences with Edward’s overall health.  He quickly pushed it aside to be brought up later on.

“And you’ve been hiding in plain sight?”  He questioned.  The boy’s eyes suddenly flew open and his head snapped forward, as he stared at his superior like the man had sprouted another head.

“God, you’re just notorious for asking stupid questions today, aren’t you?”  He disbelievingly asked.  Roy’s eyes narrowed.

“ _Edward_.”  He warned, stopping the boy’s sarcasm from getting out of line.  It was a work in progress, he knew, but so long as they continued to work on it...  He moved onto his next inquiry:

“How many people know what you are?”  The teen shrugged and shivered a little in the cold room.

“Not many..  The only people who matter now are the people who were in your office today and the Lieutenant Colonel...”  He replied stiffly, gathering himself in his arms again and curling in on himself.  Roy’s brow furrowed.

“What about your mechanic and her grandmother?”  Edward glanced up at the question, almost as if it were shocking to be asked such a thing, but answered it with a sad smile, nonetheless:

“If Al didn’t know, how could they?”  Mustang froze.  He had never suspected... his own brother hadn’t even known?  Of course, the armored boy had seemed shocked at the revelation, but Roy had assumed that the reaction had been caused by the fact that Edward’s secret was actually being revealed... not by the content of the secret itself!

“Al... A-Alphonse didn’t know?”  Edward slowly shook his head, staring down at his feet in distraction.  

“Not before this afternoon.  We decided to keep it from him so he wouldn’t...”  The blonde swallowed thickly and rubbed his eyes on his upper arm.  He continued with a shaky breath.  “So that he wouldn’t think of his older brother... a-as a freak..”  Roy frowned at this last statement, knowing that Alphonse would never think such things about the brother who had risked everything for him, and would have corrected the boy, had it not been for the fact that a single word in that short explanation had left his mind buzzing furiously.

“... ‘We’?”  He offered, hoping the younger boy would catch on.  Edward, being the prodigy he was, didn’t miss a beat and jumped right on the question without so much as glancing in the Colonel’s direction.

“My parents..”  Roy’s eyes widened farther than he had thought possible.  He had simply thought, as the others probably had as well, that Edward’s... condition... was a recent development.  But... his parents?  The fact that his mother had known he was a chimera, by itself, made the alchemist blanch.  Hadn’t Trisha Elric died when Edward was eight?  Couple that with the fact that the blonde before him hadn’t only referred to one, but both, of his parents... meaning that his no-show father had also been around when the incident had occurred.  But that meant... that was... it just wasn’t... possible.

Edward’s earlier words haunted him: “ _Alchemy without a transmutation circle is impossible.  Human chimeras are impossible.  Homunculi are impossible.”_ Roy could now say that there was no such thing as ‘impossible’.  His sharp, calculating eyes landed on the teenager.

“Edward... when exactly were you transmuted into a chimera?  You boys told me that your father had left before Alphonse turned five..”  Edward nodded slowly, making the pit in Roy’s stomach knot and swell in size.

“Yeah, he did.”  The boy replied absently, as though he wasn’t even truly in the room anymore.  Roy shook his head, trying to keep it clear of any thoughts which weren’t necessarily relevant at the current moment.

“But... if your father was a part of the decision not to tell Alphonse about your... situation...”  Edward turned his head on a dime, snapping his eyes to lock on the Colonel’s onyx stare and held the cold gaze for only a moment before relinquishing the steely glare to the peeling wallpaper on the wall instead.

“Yes...  my old man knew about my... ‘condition’, shall we say?  He was the first to know about it, and decided to tell my mother the very next morning.  They chose to keep it quiet... from everyone.  I respected that choice.  Apart from telling Sam at the laboratory, and the six people in the office today, I have never told another soul.”  Roy shuddered at the boy’s cold, emotionless tone.  It was as though he were telling another’s story, instead of his own.  He was so... detached from his past... it made the Colonel’s chest ache.

“But how did it happen, Edward?  You can’t just have woken up this way!”  Edward blinked, and gave the distraught man a somber smile... It was faint... but it was there all the same.

“No... I didn’t wake up this way.  But I didn’t really understand what was happening to me at the time...  So my father just explained it all to me: what I was, how the world would react to me, how I could never tell...”  His eyes glazed over and the blonde locks began to droop down and cover his golden eyes.  Mustang knew he was losing the boy to the agony of his past.  

“Your father?”  The Colonel grabbed hold of one of the slender bare shoulders and gave it a sharp shake.  He tried desperately to hold Edward’s gaze with his own, but it was to no avail.  “Didn’t he ever try to find the alchemist who did this to you?”  

“No.”  The response was clipped so short that it made Roy see red.  How was it that no one in the entire _goddamn_ world seemed to give two fucks about this poor, broken boy curled up before him?

“Why the hell _not_?!”  The Colonel’s raised voice finally caused Edward to look up and actually _see_ for the first time.  The man in front of him was livid, looking feral and prepared to kill.  The boy stopped short as he realized that the response... the truth... would only serve to further Mustang’s rage.

“It’s... He..”  Tears leaked from his eyes and splashed down onto the backs of his hands, now curled loosely on top of his knees.  Roy blinked as he noticed the tears and reached up, hesitantly, to wipe the liquid from his face, shooting the boy a concerned look.

“... Edward?”  The younger boy lifted up his left hand and placed it, gently, over the Colonel’s, being sure to retract his claws, and sniffled slightly into the hands.

“He didn’t... because...”  He closed his eyes tight and mumbled the rest of the explanation quickly into the heel of his commanding officer’s hand.  “Because my father _was_ the alchemist.”

Time stopped.  The world turned hazy and grey... muted, as though there was no happiness or any life at all left in the universe.  Roy desperately tried to wrap his mind around what he _thought_ Edward had just told him.  But... that couldn’t have been the _actual_ explanation... could it have been?  The boy hiccuped softly into Mustang’s hand and the soft yellow ears folded back tight against his skull and quivered slightly as the rest of his body shook with his quiet sobs.

“Th-the r-reason, why I-I am the wa-way that I a-am, is... i-is him.  He ma-made me... into a mons- a monster...  and I will n-never forgive h-him for that.”  He clenched his lids together, but the tears still managed to fall down his face and onto the Colonel’s palm.  Wordlessly, Roy wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him to his chest, slipping off his military jacket and throwing it over Edward’s shoulders.  The blonde gave a timid squeak in surprise (and turned red as a tomato afterward), before pressing his tear-streaked face closer to the man’s warmth.  Roy had to fight to hold back his own tears.

“Tell me everything...”


	6. Chapter 6

“Tell me everything...”  Mustang instantly felt Edward’s shoulders tighten and the boy’s body went positively rigid, yellow tail fluffing up slightly behind him.  The younger boy’s only reaction to the Colonel’s request was to bury his face into the soft blue fabric of Roy’s button-down shirt and sniffle quietly, shaking his head slightly from side to side.

“Please... Edward.”  Roy ran a gloved hand through the blonde hair, unconsciously tugging some of the strands out from the braid.  Eventually, the boy in his arms began to relax, his shoulders slumping slightly.  His tail began to flick across the floor around him, and Mustang tried hard to ignore it, but the fact that the blonde appendage was actually connected to the mostly-human child before him was absolutely mesmerizing, and the man almost missed Edward’s response.  

“I was three.”  Mustang froze, the words ringing in his ears and adding to his already growing migraine.  “The transmutation occurred five days after Al’s second birthday...”  Roy’s heart was pounding in his throat and his eyes steadily grew moist with emotion.  Edward continued after a moment of silence.

“The night I was transmuted into a chimera...  It’s the very first memory I have.  I was too young to truly remember anything before or immediately after that point... but, for obvious reasons, that night stood out from all other nights in my life..

“The bastard woke me up, only a few hours after I had gone to bed, saying that he had a surprise for his ‘little man’.  That, alone, should have told me something was wrong...  Only mom ever called me that...  But I followed him down to the basement anyways.  He told me that we had to be very quiet, otherwise Al could wake up and get jealous of my surprise.”

“And you listened..”  Mustang’s voice was just above a whisper, startling Edward from his somber tale.  The boy glanced up at his superior with dead, emotionless eyes, and offered a small smile.

“Of course.  I was still extremely pissed off at Al for stealing all the attention away from me...”  The Colonel gave a soft chuckle at this, imagining an angry toddler with blond shaggy hair stomping around a country home with a bright fire in his eyes, thoroughly ticked at his parents’ betrayal.

“Why am I not surprised?”  Edward huffed and blew a stray hair from his eyes, causing it to flick up towards his right ear which twitched in return at the flutter of brief contact.  

“Shut your mouth, Mustang.  At least I’m not some bastard Colonel with a God complex!”  The older man unwillingly released the chimera and held him at a slight distance from himself, allowing him the pleasure of staring into the boy’s brilliant golden eyes.  He noticed with a start that Edward’s eyes had not only grown, taking up a significantly larger portion of the boy’s face, but that they had definitely become more cat-like in appearance.  The pupils, themselves, had narrowed and become slightly oblong, and small flecks of reflective green could be seen amongst the bright yellow.

“I’m glad that you’re still acting like your normal self, Fullmetal.”  Musatng finally relented, earning a low growl from Edward as he tried to shove the Colonel’s hands off of him angrily.

“I told you not to call me that.”  He hissed, ears folding back tight against his skull.  Roy blinked at his subordinate’s anger.

“That is your name, isn’t it?  It was given to you by the Fuhrer, himself.”  Edward slumped against the ball beside his bed, releasing a frustrated sigh.

“That name was given to me on the pretense that I was one of you.  Now that you know that I’m not...”  His flesh hand reached up and tenderly brushed the blonde hair around the triangular ear, subtly running his fingers across the feline ear every so often in a comforting gesture.  Edward gave a slight shiver when the digits stroked his sensitive spot on the back of the furry ear and grudgingly lowered his hand.  “I don’t deserve to keep that false name any more.  It’s not like I’m going to need a name for much longer anyways.  Pretty soon, Sam and I will be referred to as Chimera One and Chimera Two.”

Roy Mustang’s eyes widened and his eyes began to tear.  “You really think we’re going to turn you in?”  Edward glanced up at the Colonel, his eyes sad, and shrugged his shoulders half-heartedly.

“Yes.  That’s what my old man told me would happen.”  The blonde averted his eyes, and the other alchemist quickly latched onto his shoulders, preventing the boy from turning away completely.

“He... told you that you’d be taken away?”  Ed only nodded in response, determinedly refusing to meet his superior’s gaze.

“What else did he tell you?  What happened down in the basement, Ed?”  The boy once again tried to turn away from Roy, but the Colonel held fast and dug his fingers into Edward’s flesh arm, causing him to wince slightly.  Not from pain, of course, but from the realization that he wouldn’t be able to avoid the man’s loaded question.

“What did your father do?”  Roy asked again, drawing his face in near the younger boy’s and watching him shiver slightly.

“I don’t...”  The youth’s face contorted in pain and his entire body began to tremble with noiseless sobs.  “Please, I don’t want to talk about it..”  The tears finally spilled from the confines of Ed’s eyelids and began to cascade down his cheeks.  Though it was through mumbling, Roy could distinctly hear the chimera begin to plead with the Colonel... beg him to just let him be alone, beg him to drop the subject... saying that it was just ‘too painful’..  Mustang drew in a sharp breath.

“Edward...  I need to know what Hohenheim did to you if we ever want to reverse the process.”  The bright eyes suddenly locked onto the Colonel’s steely gaze and the hope and longing almost broke the man’s heart in two, and he cursed himself for making such a promise.

“... You could do that?”  Edward gasped, the last of his tears leaking from his eyes and drying on his cheeks.  

“I’d like to try...”  Mustang corrected abruptly.  “And I know the others will want to do the same.”  The smile which the boy gave his CO was the first sign of happiness to reach his eyes and Roy couldn’t help but smile back.  It was silent for a long while and, for the first time in a long time, the Colonel was perfectly content.

The complacent moment didn’t last long, however... It never did.

“My father didn’t turn me into a chimera right away, you know...  But he wasn’t lying... He really did have a surprise for me...”  Mustang remained silent, wordlessly opening up his arms in an open invitation for Edward to use them for comfort as he continued his story.  The blonde shook his head in decline.  He knew if he were to return to the Colonel’s embrace, there would be nothing stopping him from breaking down completely.

With a shaky breath, he continued.  “The reason why my transmutation was practically flawless... It’s because my father had researched and experimented all the different methods of human transmutation his entire life.  He had discovered, through trial and error, that the subject needed to be in a heightened state of arousal in order for the reaction to be successful.”  Mustang cocked an eyebrow at this.

“A heightened...?”  Edward nodded and slowly turned his attention to the world beyond his window pane, his expression rapidly becoming pained and agonized.

“It didn’t matter which type of arousal was present in his subject: whether it be sexual or emotional... And dad somehow decided that, the more aroused the person was, the easier the transmutation would be...  So, in my case, having my father force me into a state of sexual arousal elicited a very strong emotional response from me..”  The older alchemist’s eyes grew wide, and he sucked in a shaking breath.

“Ed-Edward..”  The blonde furiously jerked his head towards his commanding officer and glared at him, eyes blazing.

“Don’t you _dare_ pity me, Mustang.  I’ve had enough of that to last a life time..”  Roy struggled to remember how to work his jaw properly and, in the end, was stuck floundering like a fish.

“Your father... Hohenheim.. He...”  Mustang finally stammered.  Edward drew his knees up tight against his chest, tail swishing across the floor beside him, and buried his head in his knees.

“... He raped me, yes.”  The older man made a motion to reach for the boy in front of him, but a sharp glare kept him away, arm falling limply to his side.

“I, um...”  He softly cleared his throat.  “I ended up screaming at some point during the event, and dad got really mad at me.  He told me that I was ungrateful for his gift and didn’t deserve to be called his son, and that I was lucky he was so good to me.  Then, he told me that even though I was an ungrateful child, he would still give me my surprise.  I screamed at him and started crying, telling him that I didn’t want his stupid gift because it hurt and made me feel sick.  He simply responded that he was only doing it because he loved me.”  Roy had to blink back his tears, struggling to keep them at bay, and failing miserably.

“That sick psycho...”  He felt a few tears slip down his cheeks and he softly scolded himself when he saw the blonde boy turn to look at him.

“It wasn’t his fault.”  Mustang blinked stupidly for a moment, the words refusing to register in his mind.

“What?”  Edward shifted slightly, obviously annoyed at having to repeat himself.

“I said, ‘it wasn’t his fault.’  He gave me a choice, you know.  Lifted me up, put me on the floor in the center of the transmutation circle and told me I didn’t have to receive his gift if I wasn’t ready.”  Again, Mustang could hardly understand the words spoken by the boy and it took him awhile to solidify a proper response.

“He told you you could back out?”  The Fullmetal Alchemist nodded, releasing his knees and flicking at a small lint ball on the floor with his auto mail hand.

“Yeah.  He said, ‘all you need to do, Edward, is admit that you are an ungrateful son who is not worthy of anyone’s love.  Tell me that you don’t deserve to live.  Tell me that you deserve to be cast out on the streets like the trash you are, and be shunned to a place where no one will ever find you.’”  He shivered.

“I couldn’t even breathe by the time he had finished, I was crying so hard, and all I wanted was to wake up from this nightmare and run into my mother’s arms.  But he had said that I didn’t deserve it.  He had said that I was an ungrateful son and unworthy of anyone’s love.  Of course, I didn’t want to believe him... So I told him that I wanted his gift; that I would be a good son, worthy of his praise.”  Mustang swallowed audibly.

“And then... he transmuted you..?”  Edward sighed, and allowed his limbs to fall limply to his sides.

“... And then he transmuted me..”


	7. Chapter 7

“... And then he transmuted me..”  Edward cast his eyes to the floor as shame colored his face at the remembrance of that night.  After a moment of deliberation, Mustang wrapped his arms around his subordinate, before the teen could protest, and pressed his face to the mess of golden hair atop his head.  In direct contrast to the Colonel’s predictions, Edward did not struggle against his hold even when his arms gripped too tightly into his left shoulder...  He relaxed and allowed himself to be granted the small bit of comfort which was offered to him.

“It was unbelievable...”  He mumbled into Roy’s dress shirt, tears leaking down his face.  “The pain, I mean.  I couldn’t even remember who I was, or what was happening to me.  All I knew was pain before I succumbed to unconsciousness.”  Reaching up with both arms, Edward snaked one around the Colonel’s back to grip the fabric there, before placing the auto mail hand languidly beside its partner.  The contrasting digits dug fiercely into the shirt’s material, most likely stretching it to the point where it would no longer be salvageable, but if Roy minded, or even noticed this small fact, he made no indication. 

“And then I woke up, and I had lost my humanity.  After that night... my world spiraled and I lost everything: my virginity... my humanity... my faith... my parents... Al’s body... my arm and leg..  The only positive about everything that’s happened to me is that now I can move forward without facing the risk of having anything else taken away from me.”  Though the fragile boy was sobbing without restraint now, tears soaking the Colonel’s clothing to an inconceivable extent, Mustang held onto the alchemist and stroked his feline ears gently.

“You still have your brother... and your friends.”  Roy spoke softly, once the intensity of Edward’s cries had lessened.  He tenderly touched the tip of one of the chimera’s ears and rolled it soothingly between two fingers.  The boy in his lap hiccuped slightly before purring contently at the motion.  The older man pulled away from the younger slightly and gazed at the distraught teen through promising midnight irises.  “And you have me.  I’ll protect you, Edward, and I’ll be here for you as long as you’ll have me.” 

Tears sprung to the golden eyes and Roy noticed Edward’s lower lip was trembling somewhat.  As before, he placed his own hand gently over the older man’s and pressed his face closer to the warm palm, before allowing himself to be pulled into Roy’s embrace.  “Colonel... Thank you..”

The two alchemists stayed in that position until long after the high afternoon sun had set, bathing the soldiers, instead, in the dim moonlight.  No words were spoken between them in the entirety of that time, and the hours passed in silence.  Every so often, Edward would break down again and sob loudly until Mustang was certain the boy’s heart would ultimately give out from exhaustion.  But the Colonel continued to cling to the blonde through his tears, willing away every nightmare, every demon that plagued him and, at times when the grief would become too much for the man, he would join Edward in his suffering and cry soft tears into the golden head of hair beneath him.  When the young alchemist finally spoke up, the noiseless clock on the night stand read just after two in the morning, and Mustang had long ago dozed off and almost missed the boy’s question.

“Wah zzat?”  The boy seemed to hesitate, before repeating his earlier question to Mustang’s clavicle, refusing to meet the soldier’s eyes.

“Can you... would you stay here for the night?  I really don’t want to be alone, and I doubt Al will be coming back to keep me company..”  Roy was shocked out of his sleepy daze and had half a mind to massage his neck in response to all the whiplash he had received in the past few hours.  What had happened to the little spitfire teenager who had always barged into his office, unannounced, only to further insult him verbally?  What had happened to the hot-headed alchemist that put someone in the hospital for so much as looking at him ‘in the wrong way’?  Where had this timid, almost _submissive_ , child before him come from?

“Of course, Ed.  I’m here for as long as you want me, remember?”  Edward smiled brightly at his CO, then leapt to his feet gracefully, proclaiming that he would wash up before bed.  Mustang couldn’t help but smile back when the boy turned to face him again and he noticed that the only evidence of Edward’s despair was the faded tear trails on his cheeks.  Take that away, and he could easily pass as your normal, everyday, happy-go-lucky, teenage boy... besides the fur... and the ears... and, of course, there was the tail..

“Edward?”  The boy paused in his endeavor to reach the bath towels on the top shelf of his closet, and Mustang had to suppress his laughter when he noticed the fact that the blonde was perched on his tip-toes in his effort.  The scene was nothing short of comical.  Coupled with the fact that the boy was only in his boxers (which were too big for the teen and hung dangerously low on his hips), Edward’s tail couldn’t seen to stop moving for more than two seconds at a time and his large cat ears would twitch with every noise in the small dorm.  He looked every bit the feline he partially was.  

When Roy noticed his subordinate looking at him expectantly, he silently reached up and grabbed a fluffy white towel from the shelf which Edward had been unable to reach.  The blonde shot him a disgruntled look when the Colonel handed him the towel and he made to grab it and run off to the bathroom, but Mustang’s firm grip on the other end of the cloth caused him to stop.

The older man gazed sincerely into the slitted-pupil eyes and smiled gently.  “... Thank you... for telling me.  I know it must have taken a lot for you to trust me like that.”  Edward’s eyes went wide and the triangular ears perked up as his breath caught in his throat.  Mustang was convinced that he would start crying again..

Then, doing a complete one-eighty, the boy reached out and shoved his palms against Roy’s chest, pushing the man back against the wall as Edward ripped the towel out of his hands.  Without glancing up, the teen hugged the towel against his chest and stood there with his shoulders haunched defensively, sniffling slightly.

“Don’t get all full of yourself, Mustang... You’re still a bastard.”  Without another word, Edward swiftly darted across the dorm and locked himself in the bathroom.

After a few minutes, Mustang heard the shower turn on and he was left to his musings.  He decided to sit down on the military dorm bed and was instantly brought back to his days at the academy.

“Still as shitty as always, I see...”  He chuckled, smoothing his hand over the lumps in the mattress.  When he became Fuhrer, he’d see to it that the dormitories would be given proper bedding.  God knows he couldn’t have his soldiers suffering on the battlefield because of a lumpy mattress and a bad night’s sleep...

.. Then again, he’d never make it anywhere close to the top if any of the higher-ups found out about Edward’s “condition”.  Mustang laughed to himself and shook his head slightly in disbelief.  Honestly, couldn’t that boy ever just get a fucking break?  The fact that Edward had been carrying this secret around for virtually his entire life was shocking by itself, but to find out he had been sexually abused by his father and hidden from the public by his mother was almost too much for Roy to handle.

So... Edward was a chimera.

Edward was a _perfect_ chimera.  Hell, Roy didn’t think he’d ever seen something so beautiful in his life as the boy in his chimera form.  Ears and tail a shade darker than the color of his hair, large yellow eyes sparkling in the afternoon sun, the cat-like grace in his every movement... It was almost unbearable.  

 _Unbearable... Only because it’s unrealistic,_ Roy reminded himself.  He had always found Edward to be an attractive boy... Who didn’t?  He was beautiful in every aspect, and the fact that he had survived through so much only served to further Mustang’s interest in the child.  And, of course, it wasn’t as though the Colonel had never been with a man before.  He’d experimented in the academy, like everyone else had, and had developed a few flings throughout his military career.  After all, sleeping with another man wasn’t _uncommon_ in the Amestris military... And Mustang knew for a fact that the Fuhrer himself had had himself a handful of male lovers over the years... So an actual relationship with the Fullmetal Alchemist wasn’t entirely unrealistic.

Except for the fact that it _was._ Edward Elric was a teenager... a child... and his subordinate, nonetheless!  Also, even though it was a common practice within the state military, it didn’t necessarily mean that the residents of a small town like Resembool thought of it as an acceptable activity.  And, of course, there was the fact that he had just learned that the boy had been raped at the age of three by his miserable excuse of a father..

Roy reached up with his hand and alternated between massaging the area around his temples and grabbing at the bridge of his nose.  All this thought of the Elric boy was beginning to make the Colonel’s head spin.  And why was he even thinking about that now, when the child was in such a fragile state?

Suddenly, the raven-haired man registered the fact that he could no longer hear the water running in the adjoining room, and looked up just as Edward stepped from the bathroom, clad only in his boxers as before.  His hair was down and still soaking wet, and Roy marveled at how soft it appeared...  It was almost inconceivable how a person with such a hardened and violent personality could possess such beautiful hair.

Water droplets fell to the floorboards below from the dripping gold locks and Mustang watched as the boy reached up with a towel to begin rubbing his hair dry, the muscles in his torso rippling and lengthening beneath the skin as his body stretched and moved.  The Colonel swallowed hard, suddenly feeling slightly ashamed of his own physique.  Not that he was flabby by any means, but Mustang knew his body type to be more lean and lithe, as opposed to the bulging, petite form of the blonde before him.  Roy hadn’t been focused on extreme hand-to-hand combat during his time at the military academy and now found little-to-no use for it in his daily life.  Who needed to get into fist fights with criminals when you were the Flame Alchemist, anyway?

But Roy just couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Edward was... what?  Fourteen?  Fifteen, now?  How could a teenager, as young as him, have a body with the muscle mass equivalent to that of one Alex Louis Armstrong?  Mustang felt his face heat up hotly when he realized that Edward had caught him staring.

“What?”  His auto mail arm paused in towel-drying the blonde hair long enough for the alchemist to cock an eyebrow at his superior.

“I don’t know... you seem different...”  Edward rolled his eyes and amusedly pointed to the furry triangles resting atop his head.

“I _am_ different, Bastard,”  He chortled.  Mustang huffed from his position on the bed and watched on as Edward selected a plain black t-shirt from a messy drawer and threw it on over his head.

“It’s not the ears...”  The Colonel replied, finally.  “There’s something else...  You’re happier?”  Edward seemed to blink in surprise, as if not truly registering the man’s words. 

“Oh... I guess I am...”  He appeared to be deep in thought for a moment before flashing an award-winning smile in Mustang’s direction.  “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to be myself without having to hide my secret from people.  It feels... good.  Even better, is the fact that I don’t have to wear those fucking ear coverings!”  Roy brought up one foot to rest on the mattress, allowing his forearm to relax across the knee and grinned at the teen.

“That much of a pain, huh?”  He regretted the words the very moment they left his mouth.  A positively wicked grin flashed across Edward’s face and a malicious glint sparkled in his eyes.  He grabbed something from the top drawer.

“Here, let me show you...”  Walking towards the older man, Edward made sure to take his time to really make Mustang worry.  His tail swished back and forth ominously behind him, and Roy watched with wide eyes as the claws on his left hand retracted and then splayed out again, and he took this as his cue to begin backing away.

“What?  No, get away from me!  Edward!”  He inwardly cursed his voice for sounding so unsure.  Mustang backed up on the bed, using his elbows, and had managed to fully get his body up on the mattress top before Edward pounced.  Digging his left knee into Roy’s gut, he grabbed his commander’s face in both hands and laughed gleefully as the man began to struggle in his grasp, smacking his face against the auto mail arm a few times.

“Don’t be a baby! Look, you just fold your ear down like this... and,” Edward sat back, blissfully unaware of his superior’s now-fat lip and (most likely) bruised ear.  “There!”

The boy had forcibly shoved Mustang’s ear into the large encasing which, he had to admit, wasn’t quite as bad as he had expected.  His hearing appeared to be significantly muted on the one side, however, and he felt that he would never be able to deal with the nuisance of having his ears concealed for long periods of time.  Roy found it was similar to being underwater and attempting to hear the voices of the people on the surface.  He tugged at the hinderance in annoyance.

“I typically only get to change the cover every couple of months, so my ears have to stay in this position for crazy long periods of time.”  Edward rambled from his position seated on Roy’s stomach, looking chipper as all hell that he had actually been able to force someone else to endure a bit of his misery.  Mustang twitched his nose as the soft golden locks tickled the tip, and grunted softly as the boy’s weight shifted from knee to knee.

“Edward... This is rather painful...”  The blonde stopped his victorious gloating and looked down at the Colonel with a bemused, though slightly concerned, expression.

“What?  The ears?” The man on the bed winced sharply as the metal limb dug deeper into his torso.

“That, and your auto mail is in my gut...”  Edward’s eyes went wide and quickly darted down to the place where his knee rested, face instantly paling.  He met the Colonel’s eyes once more, apologetically.

“Oh, sorry!”  Instead of hopping off of the bed completely as Mustang had anticipated, Edward merely opened up his legs and straddled the man’s stomach, placing his mismatched hands on Roy’s chest.  This position struck Roy with a sense of uncomfortable familiarity from his frequent midnight escapades and he found it to be a struggle to keep himself soft with Edward sitting directly over his crotch.  His eyes closed involuntarily when the boy on his lap decidedly shifted positions, stirring up a delicious friction between his legs. 

“Hey, Mustang?”  The soft voice called to him from outside of his blissful state.  He was so warm... and the shifting motions felt so nice on his cock, making it harden surprisingly fast.  Roy had to suppress the overwhelming urge to thrust up into the body on top of him.

“Hmm?”  He finally managed, and cracked open an eyelid when it took the blonde over a minute to reply.  Edward had his tail in his hands, wringing the appendage and biting his lip nervously.

“Th- thanks... For, you know... not ratting me out to the higher-ups.  It really means a lot to me.”  The Colonel’s eyes snapped open to fully look at the chimera before him, and he scolded himself for ever thinking of his subordinate in the same manner as one of his one-night flings.  Edward was beautiful, sure... Maybe even more so now that he could finally be himself... but he was hurt.

He was very... _very_... hurt.

Mustang found it hard to believe that Edward would be so trusting of his superior as to allow Roy to spend the night in his room; though, he supposed that the boy _did_ have a point: Roy hadn’t ratted him out... as his bastard of a father had long ago told him the military would do if he was ever discovered... and he would never allow for any harm to come to him, as Edward was obviously aware of by now.

Tenderly, Mustang reached up a hand and tucked a stray lock of wet hair back behind the teen’s triangular ear.  “You’re welcome, Edward.”

“It’s just... I’ve been alone for so long.  Even before mom died, her and I never really discussed the fact that I wasn’t human.  She treated me as though I was still the same as I always had been...  and, while that was good, it also made me feel like more of a monster than I already was.  Because, with her treating me like I was human, I felt... like my own mother couldn’t accept me for what I was.  Like she was in denial about my transmutation..”  The golden irises focused intently on the obsidian orbs below.

“But you don’t really care, do you?  About what I am?  You look at me as though nothing’s changed between us, like I’m the same, even though you obviously know what I truly am...  You... You’re okay with it?”  The hand paused in its motion of brushing through the teenager’s hair, and calmly came to rest on the side of Edward’s face.  Wordlessly, Mustang grazed his thumb over the boy’s cheek, wiping away the remains of his tears.

“You’re the same person, Edward.  I won’t pretend that you’re human... because you aren’t, and that would be adding insult to injury... but I know that you’re still that obnoxious teenager who is searching for the Philosopher’s Stone.  You’re still an amazingly talented alchemist who has been to hell and back and has the most outstanding Napoleon complex that I have ever seen.  You still care deeply for your younger brother, Alphonse, and have a knack for getting caught up in dangerous situations which are more than likely bound to get you killed.  You’re still.... you.”  Silence settled over the two soldiers as they stared into each others’ eyes.

Then, without warning, the younger boy’s eyes began to water and his shoulders began to wrack with heavy sobs.  Sitting up, while keeping Edward in his lap, Roy hastily used his thumbs to wipe away the youth’s tears, now cascading down his face.

“Hey, now... why the hell are you crying?”  Edward’s brow furrowed, and he gasped for air, hiccuping oxygen through his sobs.  For awhile, he was simply unable to respond, his grief being far too overwhelming for him to be able to multitask.  When he finally did manage to speak, his words were choppy and quiet, like waves on an endless ocean.

“I- I always thought you’d hate me after you knew..”  Roy’s eyes went wide, and he gripped the face tighter between his hands.

“Edward, _why_ would I hate you?”  Frowning, Edward bat the hands away from his face and tried to push away from his commander, but Mustang caught him and held fast to the boy.  The captured teen let out an indignant noise of protest low in his throat and struggled against the hold.

“Because I’m a disgusting, low life piece of shit who’s been masquerading as a human being just to get his way!”  He screamed, fighting violently against the Colonel’s restraining grip.  Mustang clenched his teeth as he felt the sharp claws rip into his forearm in Edward’s escape attempt, but he didn’t let go.

“Stop that!”  Edward didn’t listen.

“You’re being so nice to me... You’ve always been nice to me.  A pain in the ass, sure... but you always stick your neck out for Al and me and I repay you by lying to your face and stabbing you in the back!  If the Fuhrer found out what I was, you could get in trouble.. I’m not worth it!”  Though his words were no longer unjustified, his tone still bordered on hysterical and Mustang was sure they had woken the entire dormitory with Edward’s screaming.

“Edward!  Knock it off!”  Roy gripped the boy’s shoulders tightly and shook him in exasperation.  Edward’s expression was hard, and angry tears now streamed down his face.

“I don’t deserve your kindness...  I’m not worth it.”  He finally managed to rip the Colonel’s arms away from himself long enough to send a murderous glare his superior’s way, as if daring the man to approach him.  “You should just go.”

“.. Edward...”  Mustang rebuked at the younger alchemist’s tone.  It was almost... hateful...  Tears sprung to the Colonel’s eyes as the blonde slowly lowered his gaze to the bedsheets and turned away from him.  His voice was barely audible when he spoke again.

“Just please leave, Mustang...”  Edward slid off of the Flame Alchemist’s lap and curled in on himself at the far corner of the bed, allowing his legs and tail to dangle off the edge of the mattress.  He looked... defeated..  After some deliberation, and a few minutes of watching the boy cry quietly to himself, Roy silently reached out a hand and placed it on his subordinate’s flesh shoulder.  It was quickly ripped away.

“Are you fucking deaf?  I told you to get out of here!”  The fire had not left Edward’s eyes as the boy whipped around to face the older man, and Roy wearily eyed the way his teeth ground themselves together, baring his canines at his superior in a threatening manner.  But the Colonel’s exterior remained calm and collected.  Mustang needed to show Edward that, no matter what method he tried to get rid of him, no matter how serious his threats became, he would never leave the blonde’s side.

“Do you really want me to leave, Edward?  I told you, I’m here until you order me out... So is this you ordering me out?  Is this what you really want?”  Roy stared into the fiery golden eyes, searching for a resolve.  Before long, the teenager’s expression softened and caved in surrender.

“No... no.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I don’t deserve this... I’m so selfish.”  Hesitantly, the boy reached down and took the other man’s hand in his own before pressing his face to the connection and allowing his tears of self-loathing to drop onto the skin.  Mustang growled low.

“Goddammit! Ed, are you even listening to yourself?  Knock it off!  You deserve the world on a silver-fucking-platter after everything you’ve sacrificed just to be happy!  You deserve happiness, Edward!  Just like everyone else on this whole goddamn planet.”  The Fullmetal Alchemist’s expression remained grief-stricken and he hiccuped once, causing Roy’s heart to lurch.

“But my old man told me that I was an ungra-”  Wordlessly, the older man cupped Edward’s face between his hands and smashed their lips together.  Mustang felt the boy tense immediately, his body turning rigid and stiff, his lips trembling uncontrollably in shock.

The contact only lasted for a total of five seconds, but when it ended, they were both left gasping for air, staring at each other like it was the first time.  Roy felt his face flush with embarrassment.  _What the hell did I just do?  The boy’s a fucking_ rape _victim and I just kissed him out of nowhere!  Any trust he placed in me before is probably now shattered to shit.._

Edward reached up tentatively with his left arm and grazed his fingers over his lips, still reeling from the recent events.  His eyes were wide as dinner plates, still leaking tears onto his cheeks, and he hiccuped softly in the silence of the room.  

“C-Co-Colonel?”  Mustang cursed himself, inwardly.  All he wanted to do was embrace the child before him and soothe all his fears away, but there was no way Edward would allow the man to touch him after what had just happened.  The raven-haired man scooted his body further away from his subordinate, being sure to put a sizable distance between them, before speaking in an anxious voice.

“I... I’m sorry... I don’t know what came over me... I just- mph!”  And then, quite suddenly, Edward’s lips were back on his, locking the two soldiers in a passionate kiss neither knew they wanted.  The teenager’s lips moved hungrily against Roy’s and the Colonel could not be held responsible for the noises which escaped his throat as Edward attacked his mouth again and again, finally crawling on top of the older man to gain better access.  In some part of Mustang’s mind, he knew what they were doing was wrong... but, at that moment, he really couldn’t care less about right and wrong, up and down, black and white..  

All that mattered was the boy in front of him, his delectable lips, and the promise that Edward would never again leave his side, so long as they both should live....


	8. Chapter 8

Their bodies moved slowly, languidly, as one.  Thrusting together in a tangled mass of flesh and steel.  Edward’s legs were wrapped tightly around the Flame Alchemist’s waist, pulling him in deeper as he continued to find the bundle of nerves deep within him time and time again.

“C-Colonel-”  The gasp escaped the boy as an especially powerful jab was delivered to his prostate.  The man above him grunted in reply, continually moving his hips rhythmically against Edward’s body, wanting desperately to see his expression of pleasure as he came beneath him.  Sighing contently, Roy placed a tender kiss to his lover’s temple before pressing their foreheads together and speaking to the blonde.

“Don’t speak, Ed.  Just allow yourself this moment.”  The golden eyes continued to stare up into molten black for a few moments more before finally fluttering shut, his head tilting back against the pillow as the older man picked up his pace.  Edward’s breaths turned into sharp gasps as he struggled to get air into his lungs through the haze of pleasure surrounding him.

“I never knew it could be like this.”  Edward panted breathlessly, blindly stretching his auto mail arm up into the open air above him and grasping at the pale skin on the Colonel’s shoulder.  His metal fingers raked over the flesh on Roy’s chest, trailing pink ribbons along the heated surface.  It was hot...  it was so fucking hot.  He released a loud cry as Roy once again thrust into him, making him see stars.

“This is how it’s meant to be.  No pain, no anger, no fear..”  The heat threatened to envelop them completely, and Roy gave a delicious shudder when the cool metal made contact with his burning flesh, eliciting a low moan at the contrast in temperature.  Mustang thrust his length deeper into the young chimera, growling as the ring of muscles clenched around him, and placed an open-mouthed kiss at the base of Edward’s throat. 

“Ah!”  It would leave a mark, Roy was sure of it.  He couldn’t wait to see the bright red love mark on the boy’s skin, left behind from their encounter.  Edward let out a soft purr, curling his toes at the intense stimulation deep within him and felt his face flush from the heat and the embarrassment of hearing himself and the noises he was making.  Mustang suddenly lowered himself down to press his body flush against the blonde’s, sliding their torsos together as he thrust into the warmth and causing Edward to cry out at the wonderful friction on his neglected arousal.  Roy smiled down at him, loving the way Edward’s breath hitched and eyelids fluttered when he moved just _so_.  It was the most arousing thing he’d ever seen in his life:  Edward in the throws of passion, crying out and pulling Mustang’s body tighter against him.

“You’re so beautiful, Fullmetal...  You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this..”  Roy could tell the boy was close, and he adjusted his speed to accommodate his release, wanting them to reach their peak together.  As he pulled away from the teenager’s writhing form to wrap a hand around Edward’s erection, the Colonel realized that the boy was staring at him through half-lidded eyes.

“You- ah!  You wanted m-me?”  Edward gasped between thrusts, his fingers digging hard into Mustang’s back, searching for something to hold onto as the waves of pleasure crashed over him.  Roy wordlessly wrapped his arms beneath the boy’s knees and pressed them to Edward’s chest, allowing him to sink even further into his depths.  Their moans echoed together in the dark room and Roy once again resumed his pace at the new angle, pressing a kiss to the chimera’s forehead.

“Yes.”  The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t voice them... not even now, in the midst of lovemaking, could he tell the young alchemist of his true feelings.  The words were there.  Roy could practically taste them.  With a sigh, he opted out of the more difficult task and stared deep into Edward’s eyes, so wide and full of trust that it made the Colonel’s chest ache.  “More than I ever thought possible.”

Edward slammed his eyes shut as he neared his release and brought Mustang’s lips down to his with bruising force.  The furry triangles perched atop his head twitched as his small frame began to tremble in pleasure.  Roy kissed him deeply, passionately...  Too afraid to let go of this moment... and reached in between them to give the teenager a few quick strokes, before they came together, sighing each other’s names.

After a minute or so, Mustang collapsed beside Edward, refusing to crush the teen with his full body weight, and drew the boy close to him.  The blonde buried his face into his commander’s naked chest and breathed deeply, loving how the smell of sex mingled with the Colonel’s natural spice.  Then, his tail curling comfortingly around his ankle, the Fullmetal Alchemist fell into a dreamless sleep, wrapped safely in Mustang’s arms.  Roy smiled to himself and placed a tender kiss on the boy’s nose, satisfied with how it twitched at the disturbance. 

_I love you, Edward Elric.  More than you’ll ever know._

~~~

They slept for a few hours longer than they normally would have, both of the soldiers being thoroughly exhausted physically and emotionally from the previous night.  As Mustang was the last to regain consciousness in the morning, he was greeted by the sight of Edward tugging his boots on in frustration at the edge of the bed.  The raven haired man sat up on the mattress, yawning loudly as he stretched his arms high above his head, and grabbed the teenager in one fluid sweep.  

Edward yelped in surprise as he struggled to break free of his commander’s hold, growling all the while.  Mustang laughed and pressed his lips softly to the back of the teenager’s neck, causing the boy to instantly freeze and shiver pleasantly.  The older man held back a chuckle as the blonde relaxed in his grip, leaning his head back against Roy’s shoulder and purring contently.  The Flame Alchemist took the opportunity to pepper the boy’s exposed throat with feather-light kisses.

“Are you sore at all?”  He asked his subordinate when his mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied.  Mustang briefly noted that Edward had transformed back into his human form, the wax ear coverings now fitted seamlessly over the feline counterparts and wide golden eyes back to their original size.  

“Just a little.  It’s actually not too bad though...  I was expecting a lot worse.”  Edward sheepishly admitted, tilting his head forward to hide his face behind the thick blonde curtain.  The Colonel ran his hands deftly along the boy’s sides, before bringing them up to comfortingly massage his shoulders and then lower them to rest in Edward’s lap when the blonde released a moan.  He could already feel himself growing hard, but there was no possibility that the younger alchemist would be healed enough for another round, so soon..

“Do we really have to go back?  I’m not so sure I want to face them.”  Roy glanced over at him, quirking an eyebrow at the teen’s reluctance.  Sighing, the Colonel threaded his fingers through Edward’s mismatched ones and intertwined their hands together.

“Come on, Fullmetal.  It isn’t as though they’re going to bite you..”  Edward gave his commander’s left hand a small squeeze, but remained silent as he sat in his lap.  He allowed his head to fall back on Mustang’s shoulder again, trying to force out all the negativity that was clouding his mind.

“But what if they hate me?  What if they’re disgusted by what I am?  What if Al never wants to see me again?”  Inwardly, he knew such things were highly unlikely to actually happen, but they worried him nonetheless.  He wasn’t human.  He had kept everything, even his identity, a secret from his brother- the only family he had left.  He had lied to the military... to his teacher... to everyone.  

Roy brought the entwined hands in so that they crossed over each other, causing Edward to almost hug himself as Roy held him tight.  The gesture, awkward though it was, comforted him unbelievably so.  It reminded him of the way his mother used to hold him..

Mustang chuckled into the alchemist’s right shoulder and gently brushed away the golden strands which fell limply over the auto mail. “That’s a lot of ‘what if’s, Fullmetal...  What if you sprout wings and fly?”  Edward glared at the man over his shoulder in apparent annoyance at the question and blushed profusely when Roy bent down and pressed his lips to the scarred tissue along the metal port.  “Don’t worry about it right now, Ed.  We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” 

He felt his ears flatten themselves even further beneath the wax coverings and he lowered his eyes to the pale white sheet beneath him.  _How can he even look at me the way he does: as though I’m someone important and beautiful?  I’m hideous...  I’m a monster._   A freak.

“Yeah... okay.”  Edward knew, without a doubt, that his response hadn’t been enough to convince Roy that the teenager was at peace with himself just yet.  Mustang allowed his arms to go limp around his subordinate and looked on, helplessly, as the boy slid from his grasp and made his way towards the bathroom.

“You should get dressed, Bastard.”  Then, the door clicked shut behind him and Roy was left alone to get ready for the day.  He shook his head in disbelief, but slipped his underwear and military pants on beneath the stained bed sheets, nonetheless.  Roy dressed himself silently, threading his fingers through his sex hair and wiping his cheeks to rid them of any unwanted saline residue.  Can’t have the entire office knowing what a wreck he’d been only a few hours ago.

The bathroom door swung open, and Edward stepped out without saying a single word to his commander.  His cheeks were blotchy and his eyes were red-rimmed, but otherwise he looked presentable.

He had been crying..  But why?

Without prompt, the two alchemists left the room together and walked down the hall in silence, neither bothering to even look at the other.  The tension was high, but there was no animosity between them...  They were both simply filled with the pained apprehension of finding out exactly what was in store for them.  

When they finally stopped before the large mahogany doors of the Colonel’s office, Edward hesitated as his hand automatically raised up to push the wooden obstacle open.  Swallowing hard, he allowed his hand to fall back to his side in defeat.

Suddenly, a warm hand was placed on his flesh shoulder, and he glanced up to see Mustang smiling down at him in understanding.  Edward immediately felt hot tears spring to his eyes as he was reminded, once again, of just how much the Colonel cared for him and quickly turned away.  He reached up with his metal hand and gently placed it on top of the older man’s, giving it a soft squeeze, before pushing the doors open and walking into the military office.

“Brother!”  Edward turned around on a dime and froze as he regarded the suit of armor sitting patiently on one of the couches.

“Al!  What are you doing here?  I didn’t think you’d be here at this hour..”  Mustang, who had entered the office immediately after his subordinate, surveyed the scene to find that everyone was present and busy at work on the piles of paperwork.  To his surprise they all looked exhausted and unkempt, a rarity for his team.  They were all focused on Fullmetal, from the moment he had walked through the door and, whenever any of them would meet Mustang’s eye, the Colonel would send a fiery glare their way and the officers would immediately return to their work.

“I didn’t want to leave in case you decided to come back, so I spent the night here with the others.”  Edward blinked in surprise.  His eyebrows knit together and he looked as though he desperately wanted to run to his younger brother and hold him, but instead the blonde kept his distance.

“You mean... You guys all stayed here overnight?”  He looked around the office, at the team members who were no longer scrutinizing him (thanks to Roy), and felt his throat close up.  The tears had already begun to fall down his face.  “You... waited for me?”

“Well, yeah...”  Havoc stood from his desk and threw his hands in his pants pockets, facing Edward.  “We figured Alphonse could use the company... after everything that happened.”  Although he knew that the Lieutenant hadn’t meant the comment to sound malicious, the words cut Edward deeply and he flinched at the implication.  Heaving a deep sigh and clenching his hands into fists, he begrudgingly turned to face the suit of armor.

“I’m sorry, Al.  I ran away yesterday without giving you any sort of explanation.”  The hands trembled as his frame racked with the boy’s silent sobs.  “I guess you must hate me now..  Now that you know what I am.”  

Edward was shocked out of his daze when a cold leather glove settled on his upper arm, bringing his focus back to reality.  His brother’s soul-container stood before him, so close he could smell the metallic scent from the steel plating, and Edward choked on air as he struggled to make his mouth work.  Alphonse beat him to it.

“I could never hate you, Brother.  You should have realized that by now.  No matter what happens, you’re my only family... my older brother... and I love you.”  Releasing a cry of relief, Edward threw himself into his brother’s arms and sobbed uncontrollably into the metal surface of the chest plate.  

“I love you, too, Alphonse.  No matter what.”  He nuzzled his face into the hard surface, not caring about the cold of the metal on his skin.  The Colonel watched on and felt his heart give a sharp tug at the scene before him.  He smirked to himself.  _All that worrying for nothing.._


	9. Chapter 9

“Well, I don’t know about Al, but I’d sure like some sort of explanation.”  The entire team was standing behind Mustang, also watching the Elric brothers hold each other, obviously craving answers to their burning questions.  Edward sat back on his heels and wiped his eyes.

“Oh, sorry.  I guess I should probably get on that, huh?”  The alchemist abruptly stood and transformed before their eyes, ripping off the wax coverings in the process and revealing his true form to the office.  Roy genuinely smiled at Edward’s rising comfort level with who he was as a person (though he would deny that he was such), and laughed out loud as he registered Fuery and Breda’s ill expressions.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”  Breda remarked, holding a hand to his forehead.  The other three seemed relatively calm about the transformation, looking on the young alchemist in wonder and curiosity, while Alphonse appeared worried.

“What happened to you, Brother?  Are you really...”  The blonde raised up his head to look his brother in the eyes, tail swishing behind him impatiently.  “Are you really a chimera?”  Edward sighed and looked down at the floorboards before grabbing one of Alphonse’s hands between his own two.

“Yes, Al.  This is what I really am.  I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember..”  The suit of armor released a small gasp, which seemed to be mimicked throughout the office, at the realization that Edward had been a chimera for much longer than they had thought.  Fuery stepped forward, dark eyes wide in concern.

“You weren’t born that way, were you?  Is Al a chimera, too?”  Alphonse swiveled his helmet towards his brother faster than Mustang thought possible and the Colonel walked to his subordinate, placing a hand on the Sergeant’s shoulder.

“No, no, it’s nothing like that, Fuery.  Please, let Edward continue.”  The young officer looked up at his CO and nodded in understanding.

“Right.”  Edward paused for a breath before jumping up and sitting on the backrest of the couch, clearly showing off his cat-like balance as he perched on the two inch ledge.  He appeared deep in thought and stared at his clasped hands at length, as though praying they could give him the strength to bear his soul to the entire office.  Then, with a deep sigh, he began:

“The transmutation occurred when I was right around three years old...  Since I was so young, I don’t remember the process in its entirety, but I can highlight the major points throughout the night.  After all, it _was_ a defining point in my life!”  The joke was lost on the audience as they absorbed the fact that Edward had been a mere toddler at the time of his transformation.  The Fullmetal Alchemist cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his peers.  He glanced down at his hands again and kept his eyes trained on his thumb nail for the remainder of the tale.

“Becoming a chimera...  It’s the most painful alchemic process in the entire science.  Your body is literally ripped apart and reconstructed into the form you are desired to take and, more often than not, the human mind deteriorates almost instantly.  The transmuted product is almost always completely feral, with no comprehension of the human language...  I guess you could say I was one of the lucky ones.

“The alchemist who transmuted me had researched the process for extensive periods of time before working on me, so he had become an expert on creating what he called ‘ _perfect beings’._ He understood that, in order to transmute a fully functional chimera with it’s humanity in tact, it needed to possess a heightened sense of awareness- it needed to be in a heightened state of arousal- induced by fear, anger, or sexual stimulation.”  Breda nodded his head in affirmation, shrugging his shoulders as though it were the most obvious fact in the world.

“Right, everyone knows that...”  The others glanced at him, but didn’t breathe a word.  What gave him the right to put words in their mouths?  Who in their right mind just recalled information like that, anyway?  Edward’s eyes briefly fluttered up to look at the Second Lieutenant before shifting his gaze over to Mustang, who gave him a gentle smile in encouragement.  The golden irises were lowered once more, watching his hands, now trembling violently.

“He used...”  Edward swallowed before starting again, gritting his teeth together.  “He used a combination of the three.”  The silence which followed that small statement was deafening.  Seconds passed, then minutes, and still no one said a word.  Hawkeye looked like she was about to be sick, and her hand clapped over her shaking mouth to hold in the noises of horror.  Fuery felt the need to sit down and held his head in his hands.  Roy couldn’t tell if he was crying or not, but a large part of him assumed he was.  Finally, after lighting up a second cigarette, Jean Havoc broke the silence.

“Chief...”  he spoke cautiously, as if he were talking to an injured animal or small child.  “You don’t mean to tell us that this man... that he-”

“He wasn’t just any man, Havoc!”  Edward straightened his spine, glaring at the Lieutenant heatedly from his position on the couch’s frame.  His auto mail began to shake violently, and Mustang didn’t think that the boy was aware of how hard he was clenching the metal onto his flesh hand.  Blood began to run in rivulets down his fingers as the bones in his left hand cracked and broke under the immense pressure from the metal hand.  “It was my own father!” 

With a loud _thump_ Alphonse collapsed onto the nearest surface, slapping his hands down harshly onto one of the desk tops to steady himself before slumping to the floor.  The rest of Mustang’s team looked ill, and Falman raced out of the room in discomfort.  The Colonel raced forward and grabbed Edward’s automail hand between his own two, carefully trying to pry it away from its bleeding partner.  The boy let out a strangled sob when one of Mustang’s fingers accidentally brushed against a sensitive area in his hand.

“Edward... let go.  Come on, just let go.”  Slowly, doing everything in his power to calm the frightened child, Roy coaxed Edward’s auto mail out of its death grip and wrapped the boy up in his arms, whispering words of comfort until the alchemist’s body relaxed and Edward began to cry quietly into the older man’s uniform.  A clean white wrap was offered to him, and he sent Hawkeye a grateful look as he took the bandage from her and began wrapping Edward’s hand.  Alphonse’s voice was eerily hushed when it ultimately broke the silence.

“Brother...”  Edward glanced over at the armor, golden eyes still glistening with the remnants of his tears.  Al seemed to acquire more confidence and his voice steadily grew in volume.  “You have to be mistaken!  Dad would never do anything like that to you!  He loves us!”  The older brother let out a disgruntled noise and sneered at his younger sibling.

“In what world, Al?!”  The suit of armor started in bewilderment, looking at his older brother in confusion as Edward leapt from the couch and stood on his own two feet.  Mustang stepped back to give him a little room, anxious to see where Fullmetal’s temper would lead him and determined to stop it before it got out of hand.  While Edward needed to blow off steam and talk about the past, he couldn’t be allowed to hurt his brother (physically or emotionally) as he did so.

“Open your eyes, Al!  He took away everything from me on that one night.  He took everything.  Haven’t you ever wondered how I could hate that man so much just for walking out on us?”  Alphonse righted himself, and stood shakily.

“But I thought-”

“Everything you know, Al, in regards to me... is a lie.”  The pinpoints of light, serving as Alphonse’s eyes, widened and the helmet shook frantically to rid its occupant of that concept.

“No.... No!”  Edward began to advance on his brother, displacing the hatred he felt towards himself as hatred towards others.  Roy was too stunned to even react. 

“Get it through your skull!”  Reaching the armor, he grabbed onto one of Al’s metal arms with his auto mail and shook the younger boy roughly.  “I’m not human!  My humanity is a lie!  I allowed my own father to transmute me just because I longed for his praise!  I allowed him to rape me!  My strength is a lie!  My own mother hid my true form from the entire world, including you, so that she would never have to face the humiliation of having me as her son!  Every time I brought it up, she fucking _slapped_ me!  She never loved me!  Only you!  My entire life has been one big, goddamn joke!  And you had no idea!  You didn’t even have any fucking id-”  

“That’s enough, Fullmetal!”  Mustang finally snapped out of his daze and latched onto Edward’s shoulder as he continued to screech at his brother.  In his blind anger, the boy didn’t even appear to remember where he was or what he was doing, and lashed out at his commanding officer.  There was sudden pain across Roy’s upper arm and, looking down, he noticed that his uniform had begun to soak with his own blood.  Hawkeye rushed to the Colonel’s defense, cocking her gun and aiming it directly at the chimera’s head.

The snapping of the safety being released seemed to return Edward to reality and his pupils dilated slightly as he took in the scene before him.  He reached out to apologize to the man who had stolen his heart, but was immediately stopped by the enraged Lieutenant.

“C- Colonel.. I...”  Tears sprung to his eyes as he took notice of the rest of the teams’ expressions...

_I really am a monster._

“I...  I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean it, I swear.”  He choked out, feeling the tears prick at the corners of his eyes.  “I should go.”  Without another word, Edward sprinted from the office, throwing up his coat hood to hide his true form from the outside world, and raced towards his safe haven.

“No, Edward!  Wait!”  Mustang started after him, but Riza stepped in his path.

“Let him go, Sir...  He’s dangerous.”  The Colonel’s onyx eyes narrowed in anger.  This was the second time his subordinate had fled from his office after becoming emotionally distraught.  Couldn’t the kid ever just get a break?

“He’s not dangerous, damn it!  He’s jus hurt and confused!  Don’t you think you would be as well?”  Hawkeye flinched at the intensity of his gaze, her mind burned by the crudity of his question.  Not taking the time to wait for a response from his most trusted subordinate, Mustang fled the office after the chimera, praying he would go back to the dorms as he had the day before. 

“Colonel, wait!” Before she had the chance to stop him, the raven-haired man was running down the large hallway, too far away to be within hearing range.  Lieutenant Havoc sidled up next to the irate woman and plucked the cigarette from between his lips before speaking.

“Looks like we’re not stopping him this time...  Once Mustang’s made up his mind, there’s little anyone can do to dissuade him.”  Having said his piece, the man returned the cancer stick to its rightful place and inhaled deeply, savoring the taste of the sharp tobacco as it filled his mouth.  There was a muted clang as the suit of armor on the floor shifted, causing the adults in the room to turn their attention onto the younger Elric.  The First Lieutenant knelt down beside the armored boy and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Alphonse?  You okay?”  The helmet noisily shifted to glance up at the woman next to him, but didn’t move to assure her that he was indeed alright.  A sigh escaped him, sounding the same as though a breath of wind had been blown through the hollow suit. 

“He...  Brother... he said that Mom... that she hit him when he would talk about what he was..”  Riza blinked at the small reminder, before nodding her head. 

“Yeah..”  Alphonse’s shoulders slumped slightly and he heaved another heavy sigh.  Havoc was sure that if the kid could cry, he’d be on his hands and knees, sobbing for all the world to hear.

“I don’t..  I remember it.  I remember Mom hitting him one time when we were really young.  He had accidentally cut me with his fingernails... or, I guess, his claws... while we were playing outside by the swing.  And then, when Mom was bandaging my arm up, he told her what happened and she just slapped him across the face...” The room went silent at the boy’s revelation and Alphonse made a choked sound, as though he were holding back his tears, though everyone knew he was unable to cry. 

“So you remember it happening...”  Al glanced up at the Second Lieutenant, the hollow eyes sufficing for any answer he could have given to the blonde man.  He nodded his head in any case, suddenly feeling like the biggest fool in the world for having doubted his older brother’s sincerity.

“Which means Brother was telling the truth...  The whole truth.”  Hawkeye shot an emotional look at her comrades, who appeared to be frozen where they were standing.  Alphonse brought his arms up to his helmet and held the metal in his hands, shaking it back and forth as he began to rock himself on the floor. 

“Then, that means... that... that Dad really did..”  The woman beside him gently grabbed his hands and brought them back down to his sides, rubbing her thumb soothingly over the back of the gloves.  She sent him a reassuring smile.

“Alphonse, try not to think about that now.”  With a start, the suit of armor clambered to its feet, fists clenching tightly together at his sides, and glared heatedly at the Lieutenant.

“How am I not supposed to think about it?!  Edward’s been thinking about it for the past eleven years of his life, with no other option than to keep it to himself!  He never once mentioned his condition to me.  Never once broke down.  And now, after all these years, he finally tells me the truth and runs away because he’s so upset, and I can’t even bring myself to run after him!  What the hell is wrong with me?!  No wonder why he thinks I hate him!”  He shifted his gaze to the other soldiers in the room, who had all remained silent at Alphonse’s outburst, before he angrily turned on his heel and strode towards the exit.  Kain snapped out of his stupor and ran to catch up to him, grabbing at his forearm in desperation.

“Alphonse!  Where are you going?”  The boy ripped the officer’s hands from his arm in frustration, not bothering to look back as he walked out the door.

“To find my brother.”

Then he was gone.

 

%%%%%%%

 

No one came after him.  

It was better this way, at least.  For one, it would give him the quiet alone time that he needed to sort out the growing mess in his brain... and, for another, it meant that he would be able to talk to his older brother without any prying eyes or ears.

How could this have happened?  Edward and he had always made it a point to tell each other everything, no matter how terrible... So how could it be that Alphonse was now here, left in the dark for so long?  Although the armored boy wanted to believe that he would always accept his brother for who he was... Seeing Edward’s true form had shocked that resolve right out of him and, for just the tiniest moment, Alphonse had been disgusted by what his brother had become..

He had been disgusted by his own brother. 

And it made Alphonse sicker than he could have ever dreamed.

It had only been for a fraction of a millisecond, but the emotion had been there, and the young boy had recognized it immediately.  How could he be so repulsed by what Edward was?  It wasn’t his fault that he had been forced to become an experiment!  It wasn’t his fault that their father had r-

He couldn’t even think about it.  His arms clenched and trembled at his sides.

“Alphonse?”  The sound of his name shocked him out of his thoughts and his helmet jerked up to look for the owner of the voice.  When he saw the bespeckled man walking calmly down the hallway toward him, Alphonse broke out in a grin (or he would have if he had been able to).

“Lieutenant Colonel!  How are you?”  Maes Hughes threw up an arm in greeting as he neared the suit of armor, patting the boy’s shoulder once he found he was close enough to do so.

“Can’t say that I have any excuse to complain!”  The investigator chuckled, eyes shining brightly.  “What are you doing here so early?  Where’s Edward?”  Hughes glanced around the large suit, as though the older sibling would pop out and clock him for insinuating that he had a small enough body to hide behind his younger brother.  Alphonse rubbed the metal at the base of his neck and laughed nervously, hoping that he could get the man to leave before the prying began.

“I was actually just heading out to find him.  I should probably get going...  I’ll see you later, Hughes!”  The boy began to walk quickly away from the Lieutenant Colonel, hoping he could get away in time.  But the smooth voice rang out once more, and called him back.

“Alphonse.”  The armor turned, reluctantly, to face his older friend and tried not to appear too nervous under the man’s scrutiny.  To Al’s surprise, however, the officer turned away from him and began to slowly head in the opposite direction, calling over his shoulder as he went.

“Take care of that brother of yours..  And keep his secret safe.  I shudder to think what would happen if anyone else were to find out about his ‘condition’.”  Hughes raised up his hand in a polite goodbye and retreated around the corner before the teen could utter a word.

How had he known?  

Alphonse began to continue down the hallway that would lead him to the dorms.  Was it all really _that_ obvious?  Could someone other than Hughes have found out what Edward actually was?  And, if so, what would happen to his brother if word got out that he wasn’t human?  A bright blue mass grabbed his attention from his peripheral vision and he glanced up quickly, then abruptly stopped.  

Colonel Mustang sat on the ground in front of the Elric’s dorm room, head in his arms, knees pulled up to his chest, looking so out-of-place that a shiver ran up the suit of armor.  Carefully, so as not to startle the man, Alphonse approached him.

“Colonel..”  The tired man raised his head out of his arms and looked up at the armored boy.  There were dark bags under his eyes and his raven hair was disheveled, as though he hadn’t slept well the night before.  Alphonse supposed he had been too preoccupied with his brother to even notice the Colonel’s appearance earlier this morning.  Mustang smiled warmly at him.

“Alphonse, hey.  Edward’s holed himself up in his dorm room... just like yesterday, except this time he won’t let me in.  Stubborn little flea.”  There was the distinct sound of a shoe hitting the wood, slightly startling the man who had been using the door as a backrest.

“I heard that, Bastard!”  An angry voice growled from inside the room, though muffled slightly.  Alphonse guessed that his brother had the blankets pulled over his head, as he typically did whenever he became upset.

“I was counting on it, Fullmetal.”  Mustang called through the wood.  Alphonse raised his right hand and gingerly touched his fingertips to the surface of the door, before gently resting his forehead there as well.  He called to Edward through the barrier. 

“Brother, please...  I need to see you.  I’m sorry I doubted you before, but I know that you’re telling me the truth.  You’ve never lied to me before, and you’ve always been there for me when I’ve needed you the most.  So please, Brother...  Let me be here for you, too.”  With a resounding _click,_ the door swung open and Alphonse was granted access to the room, which was shrouded in darkness.

He had been right: Edward was huddled beneath the covers, wrapping the sheets around his like a cocoon.  But instead of being on the bed, as Alphonse had anticipated, he found his brother lying in a heap in the far corner of the room, completely obscured by the darkness.  When he heard the _clank_ -ing of the metal footsteps on the floorboards, Edward peered out from beneath the blankets and stared at his brother with wide, broken eyes.  Alphonse noted the faint remnants of tear trails running down his cheeks, and the way his eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot... but he also observed the small smile with which Edward regarded him, and it made his hollow chest swell with adoration.

How could he ever have been disgusted by this man, the one who had given him a second chance?  How could he possibly look away from those wide eyes which told the story of the immeasurable love which Edward felt for him?  How could he turn away from his only brother.

Wordlessly, Alphonse knelt down beside Edward and wrapped his arms around the boy, allowing his older brother to lean on him for support.  Time passed slowly and, before long, the chimera finally broke down and began to sob loudly into the younger boy’s embrace, clutching to his brother as though the suit of armor had become a lifeline.  It took every ounce of Alphonse’s strength not to crush his brother with the sheer force with which he wanted to hug him.

“I love you, Brother.”  He mumbled quietly into the blonde hair, longing, more than anything, for the day when he would once again be able to feel it’s softness against his cheek.  The older boy hiccuped slightly and held his brother tighter against him, burying his tear-stained face into the metal suit.

“I love you, too, Alphonse.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I claim nothing.**

**I would like to point out that, for the sake of this story, the ages will be as follows:**

**Edward: 15**

**Alphonse: 14**

**Roy: 26**

**Sam: 9**

**%%%%%%%**

"Sir." A gentle rocking motion roused him from his deep sleep and he briefly contemplated the idea of snapping the source of intrusion into ash for trying to wake him. Grumbling, Roy rolled over slightly, tearing the offensive hand away from his arm and snuggling himself deeper into the folds of unconsciousness.

"Colonel Mustang, you need to wake up." Blearily, the onyx eyes cracked open and blinked at the blonde in front of him. Sleep clouded his mind, and the only thing he could make sense of was the haze of gold which surrounded him. As his vision sharpened, the Colonel could distinctly recognize the pair of caramel eyes gazing into his own, looking on him with concern.

"Hawkeye?" He lifted a heavy arm and rubbed the ignition cloth lightly across his eyes, doing his best to remove the sleep from their corners. "What time izzit?"

"Almost eleven, Sir. May I ask what exactly you were doing sleeping on the ground?" He chuckled slightly, leaning his head back against the wall which stood directly beside the Elric's room door.

"Must've fallen asleep waiting for Ed and Al." Decisively, he stood tall and yawned loudly, stretching his limbs high above his head and rubbing the back of his neck with a wince. "I'm definitely going to regret that later." Then, he turned suddenly and rapped on the oak surface behind him, immediately rewarded with the sound of muffled footsteps, within the room, approaching the door. It wasn't long before the entranceway cracked open and Alphonse beckoned them inside. The simple fact that he didn't bother to tell the soldiers to keep their voices low indicated to Mustang that Edward must have been awake.

"Morning, Colonel." Roy wished more than anything that Alphonse could regain his own body, and smile brilliantly at them as he welcomed the pair into the room... But who knew how long it would be before that would be possible? Mustang smiled politely before turning his attention to the other Elric in the small dorm room, who currently occupied the bed.

In his chimera form, Roy couldn't contain the smile which flashed across his face as memories flooded his mind. Edward wore no other clothes than a pair of black cotton boxers, and the Colonel couldn't help but think of the last time he had seen the alchemist at this level of indecency.

"Good morning, Fullmetal. How was your  _cat_  nap?" He questioned, not being able to resist the temptation. It was too prime an opportunity to ignore. Edward's head jerked up from the fist which had been busy rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and his wide golden eyes flashed with irritation.

"What was that, Bastard? Why don't you come over here and say that to my face so I can beat you to a pulp?" Alphonse raced to his brother's side, placing a calming hand on the elder's shoulder to refrain him from acting too rashly.

"Brother! There's no need for that!" The Fullmetal Alchemist through a disbelieving glare at his younger sibling and pointed an accusing finger at Roy, who was (unnoticeably) approaching the pair.

"He started it! He's patronizing me, Al!" Just as the suit of armor was about to make a sharp retort of his own, he was interrupted by the Colonel stepping between him and his brother, pulling the eldest close to him, and pressing their lips together without a word. The room went silent and Alphonse stared in shock, an indignant noise worming its way out of his throat. Satisfied when the young alchemist froze beneath him, Roy broke away from the kiss with a smirk, cocking an eyebrow in Edward's direction. It amused him to watch as the teen struggled to remember how he was supposed to breathe, mouth floundering open like a fish as the Colonel's hot breath ghosted across his lips.

"And how about now, Ed? Still think I'm patronizing you?" The blonde blinked once. Then twice. All the while, gasping for air.

"I- I- no... I jus... just..."

"Is the infamous Fullmetal Alchemist actually speechless?" Roy chuckled, observing Riza and Alphonse's wide-eyed stares from the corner of his eye. He boldly reached out a hand towards the prodigy, only to have it be slapped away with a cry of protest.

"Shut up, Mustang! What the hell did you do that for?" He quipped, wiping his lips with his forearm as though they had been touched by something foul... although they both knew it to be just an act for the sake of the room's other two occupants. The raven-haired man leaned in close and both Elric brothers went rigid at the motion.

"I believe it was simply because I felt like it." He peered at the blonde through his thick lashes and Edward was startled to realize that the Colonel's irises were, in reality, a mesmerizing midnight blue. He swallowed hard, Mustang's words brushing across an incredibly sensitive subject for the boy. "Is there a problem with that?"

Was there a problem? Of course there was a fucking problem! His mind was screaming at him, yelling for him to run away and hide somewhere no one could ever find him. Edward had hopelessly tried to convince himself that his night with Mustang had been a one-time thing... Just a build up of emotion both men had desperately needed to release... but he knew he was lying to himself. There was an unbreakable bond between them, one which would eventually need to be severed. How many people would he need to hurt before this nightmare would finally allow him rest?

"Just caught me off-guard, is all..." He muttered through his shame, turning away from his commander. The Colonel leaned in slightly and placed his lips on Edward's forehead, the simple touch screaming emotion and deepening the teen's guilt.

"Guess I'll have to do that more often, then." Roy flashed his subordinate a toothless grin and stood beside the bed, not bothering to move away from the blonde. "Come on, Ed. Let's get going before your brother has a heart attack." Golden eyes blinked in confusion.

"Where are we going?" Swinging his mismatched legs over the side of the bed, Edward stood abruptly to face the Colonel who gave a pompous shrug in response.

"Nowhere special." The slit-pupil eyes narrowed slightly as the older man turned and began to walk from the room, waving a hand at the Lieutenant and suit of armor to signal that they would be leaving. Edward huffed in annoyance and stomped his metal foot on the ground to get the Colonel's attention.

"Damn it, Mustang! Let me change, will ya?" The composed man turned and raised an eyebrow at his subordinate's childish antics. Edward felt his cheeks grow hot beneath the sensuous gaze, his blood rushing south to pool in his lower abdomen.

"What's wrong with what you have on?" The blonde rolled his eyes and all-but-shoved the man out of his way as he went to grab his ear coverings from the top drawer of the dresser.

"Not my clothes, you dumb ass." Mustang's face fell in affliction and he released an exhausted sigh, rubbing a gloved hand over his eyes. Edward felt his chest lurch with the heartache of pushing the man away, and was thankful that his back was facing the Colonel as tears began to prick at the corners of his eyes.

Sensing that the young alchemist wasn't in the mood for conversation, Roy allowed him to disguise himself in silence. Once there were no visible traces that Edward had ever been anything besides a hot-tempered teenaged boy, the group left the dorm room in silence, locking the door behind them. The morning's events had apparently soured the older Elric's mood, and he walked behind the older soldiers with Alphonse, with neither of them speaking a word for several minutes. Edward kept his eyes trained on the heels of Hawkeye's boots, so as to ensure he wouldn't accidentally crash into her, should she stop walking for any reason.

"Brother..." Alphonse finally broke the silence, startling the blonde boy out of his musings. "You and the Colonel... A-are you-" Edward didn't hesitate to cut his brother off, feeling terrible for keeping yet another secret from the boy.

"Just drop it, Al. I'll make a novel of it later." Alphonse appeared to hesitate and the older brother couldn't blame him after all the things Edward had "neglected" to tell him.

"Promise?" Ed clasped his brother's gloved hand in his automail and gave it a soft squeeze, though neither of them could feel the reassurance behind the small contact.

"I promise, Al. From now on, you'll hear everything from me first, okay?" He smiled at the lumbering mass of steel which, in turn, faced him and tightened its own grip over Edward's automail hand. When the younger brother spoke, years of tireless admiration and unconditional devotion shone through, clear as day.

"Thanks, Ed." The love in Alphonse's voice caused Edward's heart to twinge with remorse. Just how long would he be able to keep up his meaningless facade?

With a scowl, his attention was, once again, returned to the floor beneath him. He determinedly focused his anger on the patterned floorboards, forcing himself to direct the blame for the source of his guilt at anything besides himself. The perfect triangular ears twitched solemnly beneath the plastic folds, and he longed, more than anything, just to run back and spend the day alone in his room. But, no matter how much he wished for that possibility, he knew that he no longer deserved the right to play the role of a coward. It was time to atone for his mistakes.

Suddenly, the blonde was face to face with a pair of incredibly familiar double-doors. The fact that the group had reached Colonel Mustang's office had completely escaped Edward's notice; he had been so immersed in his thoughts. Before the teen could even react, Hawkeye pushed the door in and held it open, waving him inside with a quick flick of her wrist. Edward side-stepped in front of his brother and Roy and, tentatively, entered the room. A blur of brown and yellow slammed into him, knocking the air out of his lungs as the young chimera threw his arms around the alchemist's neck.

"Big brother!" A wide grin threatened to split Edward's face in two as he recognized the bright tenor voice of the trembling ball of enthusiasm which had nearly tackled him to the ground.

"Sam!" His disguise instantly fell in his happiness, ears flicking out from beneath the coverings, and the Lieutenant rushed to shut the office door before any passersby could get a glimpse of the chimera. Wordlessly, the others left the two boys alone to have their reunion, exiting quietly through the main door. Edward's arms wrapped tightly around his canine friend and he smiled brightly into Sam's messy brunette mop of hair. Abruptly, the pair broke apart grinning widely, and the alchemist held his friend at arm's length.

Hawkeye had done an incredible job at hiding Sam's true form from the outside world. The sandy-haired child wore a neatly-pressed, button down vest, resting over his golden shirt, and matching dress shorts. His socks and newsboy cap matched in their brown and tan argyle patterns and the shoes laced on his feet appeared to be newly purchased, the leather shining under the fluorescents.

He looked... normal. Human.

"Where have you been? They treated you alright, didn't they? They weren't mean to you?" He gasped, running his hands down the sides of the laughing boy's face, tugging at the too-large hat which kept his dog ears concealed. Edward smiled at Sam's genuine display of happiness, not having seen this side of him since the small burst of excitement at the laboratory.

"No way! Miss Hawkeye was really kind to me! And her puppy was really fun to play with! He and I wrestled a lot!" A vision of a young boy and little black dog played through Edward's mind like a movie, as he pictured them crawling on top of each other, tails wagging furiously with their overwhelming joy.

"Wrestled, huh? Sounds like a fun time to me." And it did. Edward remembered a particular day in his childhood when he and his brother had stumbled upon two kittens, battling each other passionately on the side of a country road. It had taken every bit of Edward's strength to stop himself from joining them in their antics. Unlike Sam, Edward had never been given the chance to be a puppy... or, kitten, rather. He had been too busy protecting his secret from the world and, now, he would give anything to have those days back.

"It was! I wish you could have been there!" The boy grinned, eyes shining brightly as he regarded Edward with something akin to idolization. The blonde sighed, throwing an arm out and running his hands through the brunette locks, trying to smooth down his friend's cowlick, unsuccessfully.

"I wouldn't have been much fun, Sam... I'm too old for that sort of thing." At the boy's abrupt silence, Edward opened his eyes and looked at the chimera. It was as though a switch had been flipped. Sam's eyes were lowered to the floor, arms hugging himself in a protective manner as he tried his best not to cry. Immediately, Edward berated himself for saying something so heartless.

"Oh... right. Sorry." The child muttered, shuffling his feet across the tiled floor in dejection. The Fullmetal Alchemist placed a hand on Sam's right shoulder, urging the boy to look at him... so that he wouldn't feel like as much of a monster as he knew he was. The brunette instantly turned away.

"Hey... don't look so down." At this, Sam quickly spun on his heels to face his idol, azure eyes blazing bright with an inner determination.

"But-" Edward took the boy's other shoulder with his automail, crouching down so that he could be at the same level as his friend. He gently reached over, took Sam's hand in his own, and placed them both on top of his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sam. I'm right here, see?" The chimera glanced dubiously at the fluttering heartbeat beneath his palm, as though he were waiting for it to stop at any given moment. When the thrum of Edward's pulse continued to beat against his skin, Sam sighed contently and glanced up at the older boy through his lashes.

"Yeah... I- I see." The blonde smiled at him for a second longer, then returned his hands to the child's shoulders, shaking them slightly in urgency.

"Listen... Don't mention this to anyone okay? I don't want them to worry over nothing.." The blue eyes widened in horror as Edward's words registered in his brain. Sam frantically shook his companion off, chest heaving frantically with his gasping breaths.

"They don't  _know_?" Edward tried to reach for the boy, but a low growl held him at bay. Sam's hair was standing on end; his canine tail puffed up inside of his pant leg as Sam tried desperately to decide how he was supposed to react: fear or anger. The young boy pushed and slapped at the comforting hands which continued to descend towards him, rejecting Edward again and again.

"You have to tell them, Edward!" The angry arms were suddenly grabbed and tethered to his sides, immobilizing him, and the alchemist pulled the boy to his chest. His automail rested soothingly across Sam's trembling shoulders, as the flesh fingers wove patterns through the tawny strands. The silence settled over them for awhile, and Edward was almost positive that his own heartbeat had lulled the boy to sleep when he gave a start at the sound of the alchemist's voice.

"I will. When the time's right... Everyone just has a lot on their plates right now... I don't want to burden them anymore than I already have.." Sam struggled and attempted to pull away.

"How can you say that? You aren't a burden!" Edward held fast to the boy in his arms, forcing him to stay put. When the chimera had settled down some, the blonde grabbed his friend's jaw, suddenly, and lifted it so their eyes could meet.

"Look, it's my problem, not yours. I don't want you worrying about me either, alright?" Edward gave the boy a sharp glare when it appeared as though he was about to protest, and Sam fell silent.

"Okay..." he relented. The Fullmetal Alchemist smiled softly and pulled away from his friend just as the door of the small office blew open with the mighty force of one Lieutenant Colonel. The bespeckled man strode in, looking as comfortable as though he were entering the front door of his own home.

"Hey, guys! Have a nice reunion?" Edward sputtered at the man, blinking frantically in a desperate attempt to form a cohesive escape route. He had no doubt in his mind that Hughes had seen him a few days prior, however, he was uncertain as to how much this soldier could have possibly learned in the hours which had passed since then.

"We sure did!" Sam piped up, grinning like a puppy who had finally managed to catch his own tail. Escaping was out of the question... but it still bothered the alchemist that the Lieutenant Colonel was acting so completely indifferent to the situation at hand.

"Hughes... how-?" The older man scoffed in annoyance and rolled his eyes.

"I'm in Investigations. Really, Ed. You should have learned these things by now." Then, as if seeing their 'conditions' for the first time, Hughes ran over and tore of Sam's cap, marveling at the midnight ears which sprung out from underneath it, and proceeded to gawk at the golden triangles resting atop Edward's head.

"God, you two are adorable! If it wasn't wrong on every single level, I'd take you home as new pets for my darling Elicia!" He cooed. Edward bristled and felt a vein begin to throb in his temple as he realized he was being compared to a tiny house cat by the Lieutenant Colonel.

"Watch it, Hughes..." The man laughed, throwing an arm over the alchemist's shoulders in a friendly manner.

"Just a joke, Ed. Take it easy, will ya?" The humorous tone in the man's voice did little to cool Edward's temper, but seeing the Lieutenants Hawkeye and Havoc march into the office managed to lessen his anger some. He bitterly brushed Hughes's arm off from around his shoulders.

"Whatever... where'd that scheming Colonel run off to?" He wondered aloud. Hawkeye, on her way to deposit a large stack of paperwork onto the surface of Mustang's desk, released them with a loud  _thud_ and turned to face the teen.

"Well, I'm not sure about 'scheming', but Colonel Mustang ran home to do some preparation for your stay." Edward blinked.

"My... what?" Sam walked over to stand near the First Lieutenant, wrinkling his nose unpleasantly as Havoc lit up a cigarette. Hughes placed his hands on his hips and stared down at the young alchemist.

"He insisted that it would be irresponsible for us to allow you to stay in the military dorms now that your situation has come to light. We all agreed it would be best for you and Alphonse to stay with Colonel Mustang." Edward felt the heat rise to his face and knew, without a doubt, that his cheeks would be stained a soft pink at the mention of Colonel Mustang. Why couldn't he get that damn bastard out of his head? He turned to look at his kin, who was smiling brightly at the Major in return.

"What about Sam?" The chimera in question turned his gaze to regard the First Lieutenant, who merely shrugged as though they were all discussing the weather.

"Black Hayate and he seem to be getting along well... and since the Colonel is already taking in the two of you, I think it would be better for him to just stay with me a while longer." The Fullmetal Alchemist nearly felt his heart stop, immediately sensing tears welling up in his eyes.

Sometimes, when Edward lost track of the day and the time, he lost himself in the belief that he was immortal; that he could live forever. The same principle was true that, sometimes, when he was surrounded by the people he cared about, he was swallowed up by the lie that he actually deserved their company.

His head hung low, and he determinedly clenched his fists at his sides.

"... Thank you." The room went silent. Not a breath of wind stirred the neatly stacked pile of papers, and it almost seemed as if no one was breathing. Edward continued:

"You've all been so... kind to me... Even though you now know that I've been lying to you since the first day that we met. You have no reason to trust me. I've always been rash, and selfish, and destructive and I don't deserve any of your kindness... and yet..." his fangs dug sharply into his lower lip, stopping it from trembling. "And yet, you continue to help me.. why?" Hawkeye smiled genuinely at the boy, walking over to rip the cigarette out from between Havoc's lips but keeping her focus trained on the alchemist.

"Edward... We're a family. We'll do our best to protect you, no matter what." Havoc shot her a disgruntled look as she discarded the offending product out of the two story office window. The man sighed and threw his hands in his pant's pockets, tossing an earnest grin in Edward's direction.

"And as for the whole 'lying' part... don't worry about it, Boss. You've always helped us out when we needed it. Now it's our turn to help you." The truth behind the Second Lieutenant's words caused a lump to rise in Edward's throat and the Fullmetal Alchemist felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He was still lying to them... and yet they continued to believe in him. They believed he was their friend. They believed he was... good.

How wrong those fools were.

Brusquely, the young blonde spun away from the group and faced the outer wall of the building, refusing to meet their eyes. ".. Sure."

"Now, why don't you grab your coat? Alphonse is waiting out in the hall with a suitcase of your things." In his surprise, he forgot that the remnants of tears still lingered on his face, and he spun to face Lieutenant Hawkeye in bewilderment.

"When-"

"The conversations between you two chimeras are never brief, so he ran back to your room while you were chatting." Edward flushed in embarrassment, averting his eyes to the floor.

"I'll have to thank him later..." The woman shook her head with a smile and held the office door open for him, prompting their departure.

"C'mon. No point in having you stay locked in an office all day, bored out of your mind." Edward couldn't agree more, as he felt he was already becoming restless in the small space, and had to shove back the thought that part of his anxiousness also stemmed from the fact that being away from Roy, for any amount of time, made him feel on edge. He quickly turned back to the other chimera and smiled brightly at him.

"Be good, okay, Sam?" The boy quickly ran over to give his 'big brother' one final hug before stepping back and retrieving his cap from the ground, fitting it neatly over his ears.

"Don't worry about me! Miss Riza says I'm the perfect gentleman!" Ed reached over and affectionately tucked a lock of hair up into the cap, seeing as though it had been sticking out at an odd angle before.

"Did she now? That's good to hear. I'll see you later, okay?" Before he could turn to leave the office with the Lieutenant, Edward felt Sam pull at his hand and give it a sharp tug. The blonde gazed down into the nine-year-old's pleading eyes and instantly cursed Sam's ability to put the 'puppy eyed' look to shame.

"Promise?" Edward hesitated a breath, before placing a hand on top of the boy's head, messing up the neatness of the hat, and ruffling it slightly.

"I promise, Sam."

**Alright! So far, so good! We're almost done people! Stick around!**


	11. Chapter 11

“Alphonse, why don’t you put that bag in the back?  It’ll give you and Edward a little more room.”  The three of them walked towards the military car, excited to be leaving the command center so early in the afternoon.  Upon reaching the vehicle, Edward quickly climbed in, leaving his brother to deal with his luggage.

“Oh, that’s alright, Lieutenant.  We’ll be fine.”  Hawkeye simply shrugged, before sliding into the driver’s seat.  

“If you say so.”  The car rocked as Alphonse clambered into the back beside his brother, and Riza turned the key in the ignition.  “Okay, boys.  Next stop: Mustang Manor.”  Edward scoffed.

“‘Manor’... right.  Like that bastard can afford anything more than a straw hut.”  The Lieutenant rolled her eyes as they stopped at the first intersection and was about to reply when the younger brother spoke up.

“Actually...  Would it be too much trouble to ask you to make a stop at the train station?”  Edward’s head snapped up to look incredulously at his brother.  Hawkeye cocked an eyebrow and looked at the suit of armor in the rear-view mirror.

“The station?  What for?”  Alphonse appeared to squirm a bit under the searching gazes and began to fiddle with the clasps on the suitcase.

“I was thinking I would go back home for a little bit...  I really want to be with Winry and Grannie right now.  It’s been so long since I’ve seen them.”  Hawkeye glanced quickly at the Fullmetal Alchemist in the mirror, knowing _exactly_ how that must have sounded to him.  The boy looked as though he had been sorely punched in the gut.  His face was that of unmasked agony and confusion, like his best friend had stabbed him in the back without an explanation.  It was a look of betrayal.

“Sure, Alphonse, we’ll head there now.”  The Lieutenant had to force herself to stay silent regarding the issue between the brothers.  Only they could fix this rift rising between them...  If anyone else interfered, it would only spell disaster for the entire situation.

“Al...”  Ed whispered.  The armor jerked around in its seat, trying to ploy a reasonable explanation for his sudden desire to be away from his sibling.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, Brother...  I’d ask you to come along if I didn’t think you’d want to have some alone time with the Colonel..”  Edward turned beet red in the face, sputtering like an aged motor.

“Al!  You-!”  Laughter echoed through the metal suit, though forced.

“You’re getting all pink, Ed.  What’s wrong?”  The blonde muttered some excuse under his breath, glaring daggers at his brother, before abruptly changing the subject.

“Al... w- won’t Winry and Granny ask about me?  Why I’m not with you?”  Al appeared to mull this thought over in his mind for a few minutes.  He heaved a nearly inaudible sigh and turned to look out the window.

“I’m sure they will.  If you don’t mind, I wanted to bring them up to speed on everything that’s happening...  They have a right to know, after all.  The two of them are practically family.”  The ‘punched’ expression reappeared on Edward’s face, and the driver wondered momentarily if the boy would vomit in the backseat.  He looked ill.

Then again, it wasn’t everyday that the people who you care about most in the world discover you aren’t actually human..

Actually, Hawkeye decided, it was probably an _extremely rare_ occurrence. 

“Yeah... they are..”  Edward responded sullenly.  The remainder of the five-minute car ride to the station was silent, and Riza was certain that the hostility between the boys could not have been more evident had it been written on their foreheads.  As they pulled up to their destination, Hawkeye parked the car along the curb and turned around to look at the Elrics.  It didn’t even seem as though they were able to look at one another..

“Here you go, Alphonse.  Did you want us to wait for the train with you?”  The metal helmet shook from side to side as he slowly exited the car.

“No, I’ll be fine on my own.  Thank you for the ride!”  Carefully, he placed the suitcase in Edward’s lap and shut the door behind him.  The Fullmetal Alchemist immediately leaned over to roll the window down on the far side of the car and called out to his brother.

“Al... listen.  About talking to Winry and Granny.. I... I forgot to mention something...”  Edward paused, appearing conflicted.  After a moment or so, Alphonse turned around and began walking back towards the vehicle in confusion.

“What is it, Brother?”  Edward glanced up in surprise, having not heard the metal suit approaching the car.  His mouth floundered open and shut repeatedly, searching for the lost words that he wanted to say.  Finally, his mouth snapped shut and he flopped back against the seat, turning away from Alphonse completely.

“Nothing.  Forget I said anything.”  Al stood up straight in shock, then clenched his fists at his sides in anger.

“But, Brot-”  Edward whipped around, throwing an arm out the window and pointing angrily at the train station.

“Go!  You’re going to miss the train!”  Alphonse went still for a moment and, had he been in his human form, the Lieutenant knew the boy would be on the verge of tears.  Wordlessly, the suit of armor turned on its heel and ran off without so much as a ‘goodbye’.  Edward followed his retreating form with his eyes, growing moist with tears.

“... You know you’ll need to tell him eventually...”  Edward’s head snapped up to look at her.  His tear-filled eyes laced with confusion and fear.  Hawkeye hurried to clarify: “Whatever it is you’re wanting to tell him... He’ll find out whether you’re the one to tell him or not.”  The golden eyes fluttered shut and the young alchemist moved to rest his forehead on the cool window after rolling it up.  

 _He’ll find out whether you’re the one to tell him or not_..

For Edward’s sake, he truly hoped he would be the one to tell his brother.  If not, he wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to pick up the pieces of their broken relationship.  And he doubted Al would ever forgive him.

 

%%%%%%%

 

The door of the white townhouse swung open to reveal- a very casually dressed- Roy Mustang.  The Colonel blinked in surprise, eyebrows scrunching together in slight confusion.

“Hawkeye?  I didn’t expect to see you here so soon.”  The Lieutenant placed a hand on the flesh shoulder of the alchemist at her side, causing him to look up in slight surprise.

  “I just thought I’d bring Edward over before he got too bored and began to rip apart your office looking for something to do.”  Edward was in his human disguise: tail tucked in, ears fitted neatly beneath the coverings... and, yet, he still managed to make Roy’s heart hammer in his chest.  He looked like a little orphan child, arriving at his first foster home.  The wide golden eyes were fixed on Roy in a mixture of irritation and wonder, and the brimming suitcase lay, forgotten, at his feet.

He almost reminded Roy of himself at that age..  

“Is the timing alright?  I can always take him out for ice cream and come back later.”  The Colonel chuckled as Edward’s head snapped up at the mention of the frozen treat, and waved his hand in dismissal.

“No, no, now’s perfectly fine.”  He peered down at the boy on his front-step, looking mildly put-off at not receiving any ice cream.  “I’m sure we can find something to do..”  Mustang didn’t miss the light blush which colored Edward’s cheeks at his words.

“I’ll leave him in your care then, Sir.”  Hawkeye saluted him briefly before reaching down and handing the Colonel his subordinate’s heavy suitcase.  She then turned on her heel and began descending the porch steps.

“Oh, and sir?”  Roy glanced up at the summoning and quirked an eyebrow at his Lieutenant.

“Hmm?”  The blonde woman shot him a fierce glare, and Mustang gulped in trepidation, only having seen that look a handful of times in his life.  He didn’t miss her hand or the way that it hovered over the holster on her hip.

“Don’t misbehave too much, or I’ll put a bullet between your eyes.”  He gulped again, watching as she faithfully pat the gun resting at her side.

“U- understood, Lieutenant...”  With a wink, she finally departed.

“Goodnight, Sir.  Edward,” she called back to them, walking back towards the military car.  The teenager waved a hand at the Lieutenant as she drove off, before racing inside the Colonel’s home, grinning excitedly.

Roy laughed at Edward’s enthusiasm and turned to follow the teen as he shut the door, only to find that the boy had stopped in the foyer and was swiveling his head in every direction.  Mustang sidled up behind him and placed a hand on his subordinate’s shoulders.

“What’s wrong?”  The man asked.  Edward was startled out of his daze and nearly jumped when the Colonel’s hand made contact with his shoulder.  A dark blush stained his cheeks and his eyes lowered to the floor.  There was no way he could bring up the fact that the Colonel’s house looked... startlingly... like a replica of his own back in Resembool (before the brothers had reduced it to ash, that is...)

“No, nothing... I’ve just never seen your house before.  It’s really nice.”  He heard a soft chuckle behind him, and shivered when he felt the Colonel’s hot breath on his ear.

“Why, Fullmetal, was that a compliment?”  The red, staining his cheeks, deepened considerably and he pushed away from the man, glowering at him.  

“Shut it, Bastard.”  Edward invited himself on a small tour and made it to the kitchen before Roy caught up to him, beaming like an idiot.  It made the blonde’s chest hurt to realize how enamored the man actually was with him.  _You’re such an idiot, Ed... why the hell did you attack him the other night?  Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ A pair of strong arms circled around Edward’s waist and he tensed slightly before relaxing in the Colonel’s grasp.

“I really hadn’t had anything planned for tonight, activity-wise.  I guess I figured you’d arrive and we would eat and go straight to sleep... But...”

“Hawkeye just couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”  They both laughed at that, knowing it was anything but true.  Mustang peered at the teen through his lashes, tightening his arms around the boy and inhaling his sweet scent.  _Citrus and peonies,_ he mused, smiling.

“Which reminds me: the Lieutenant said she would be bringing your brother over as well.  Will he be joining us later?”  Edward reached up and idly ran his fingers over the sleeve of Roy’s shirt, smoothing the creases in the cloth.

“Nope,” he replied, popping the ‘p’.  “We dropped him off at the station on the way over.  He’s going back home to visit Winry and Granny.”  Mustang cocked an eyebrow at the apparent sadness in Edward’s voice.

“I’m sure they’ll be sad that you won’t be returning with him..”  Edward sighed audibly and detached himself from his superior, walking over to the kitchen table and fingering the petals of one of the yellow roses in the center arrangement.

“Nah.  They’ll get over it...” he replied sullenly.  Roy hesitantly walked back over to Edward, moving his long fingers delicately over the blonde plait.

“Well, if you’d like, I have some board games and a deck of cards in the closet.  Otherwise, I’m sure you can find something in my library to rea-”  Without warning, the younger alchemist swiveled around in front of Roy and crashed their lips together, shoving the Colonel back against the kitchen counter in a frenzy.  He pressed himself flush against the older man, conveying _exactly_ what it was he wanted.  Roy groaned into the kiss as he felt Edward’s need digging into his thigh, feeling his own arousal beginning to harden in response, and gasped when the blonde suddenly broke away.

“How about you finish what you started earlier, Bastard?”

The board games could wait..

 

%%%%%%%

 

A shrill tone snatched the lovers out of their blissful sleep and Mustang groaned audibly at the disturbance.  The blonde cracked open an eyelid to glance at the clock on the night stand, which indicated that it was well into the next afternoon, as he felt the man begin to clamber out of bed.

“Damn it!  Do people not know how to read a fucking clock?”  Edward smiled into his pillow as he felt the mattress dip and shift beside him, laughing at the notion that the Colonel, himself, obviously hadn’t bothered to check the time.  Cursing as the receiver was knocked to the ground by his searching hand, Roy bent over to fetch it and all but ripped the phone out of its cradle.  

“Hello.”  The voice on the other end stammered slightly at Mustang’s harsh tone, before whimpering softly at the tired soldier.  Roy’s eyes grew wide and a faint shade of pink colored his cheeks as he listened to the familiar voice mutter an apology in his ear.

“Uh... Oh!  Yeah, sure... Let me get him.”  A hand was suddenly placed on Edward’s shoulder, shaking him slightly, as though the boy could possibly sleep through all the commotion.  A sleepy golden iris focused on the sheepish looking man and Edward raised a brow at Mustang’s flustered expression. Sluggishly, the blonde took the receiver being offered to him and glanced up at his superior in confusion.

“It’s your brother.”  Edward was instantly awake, sitting up abruptly and twirling the cord around himself as he tried to get comfortable on the bed.

“Al?”  He sat, cross-legged, next to Roy, swatting away persistent hands as they grabbed at his naked form, and hastily covering himself with the bed sheet.  “Yeah, I’m alright.  You made it home safe then?”  Another short pause, in which the raven-haired man could just make out the indiscernible mumbling from the younger brother.

“That was quick...”  Ed grumbled, flicking indifferently at a dust bunny on the fabric around him.  He corrected himself at Al’s disgruntled bark.  “No, it’s not like it matters when, I jus-”  More ranting, louder this time.  Roy wrapped an arm around the alchemist’s waist, running his long fingers across Edward’s torso as the teenager gave a pleasant shiver.

“Okay, shoot.”  The blonde obliged.  The line seemed silent for awhile after that; however, judging by the growing look of terror on his lover’s face, Roy surmised that Alphonse’s question had indeed been voiced, but very softly.  Causing a single ebony brow to be raised in concern, Edward’s mouth began to flutter open and shut- no sound coming from his lips- as he struggled to find words to answer.

“A- Al... that’s not-”  A heart-wrenching sob exploded from the ear piece, and Edward’s eyes began to water. “No!  Shit!  Al, please don’t cry!  Don-!”  Edward grasped the phone with both hands, clutching the object to him for dear life as the tears began to fall.  Alphonse continued to break down on the other end, and Roy sat up straight in bed, wondering what he could possibly do to help the breaking child in front of him.  “Please don’t, Al...  You know I can’t stand it.”  The apparent sorrow of the muffled voice was quickly replaced by anger as the younger brother began to scream across the phone line at the alchemist.

“YOU PROMIS-...-THER-.. ELL ME?....-LIAR-...-CKING LIED-.. DWARD!”  The blonde’s eyes clenched together in sheer pain and he whimpered brokenly into the receiver.

“Al... just hold on, okay?  Hang on...”  Without another word, Edward stood from the mattress, nakedness forgotten, and strode into the adjoining bathroom, nearly tripping over the cord as it wound around his ankles..  Soft mutterings could be heard from the brothers’ conversation but, as their voices were mostly hushed as they talked to one another, the Colonel found that he was well out of earshot.

The silence settled over the household, and Mustang brought his knees to his chest, at a loss for what to do.  He’d seen the brothers fight with each other plenty over the few years he’d known them... It wasn’t a concern of his, since he knew it was the way siblings were.  Some things couldn’t be helped.  But he was fairly certain that Alphonse had actually swore at his older brother sometime during his rant..

And _that_ frightened him.

Alphonse never swore.  Not in the entire time that he had been around the suit of armor had he heard the boy curse.  Whatever they were fighting over... it wasn’t something that was just going to resolve itself overnight.  If things were to go back to normal, they would nee-

“FUCK!”  A loud crash in the next room brought the Colonel back to his senses, and he leapt up from the bed, running into the bathroom as though the world was ending.

There was glass... everywhere.

That was the first thing Mustang noticed as he entered the white space.  Reflective glass covered the floor, sink, and countertop, and the abandoned phone lay near the doorway, dial tone resounding loudly in the silence.  Roy determined that the mirror had been smashed to pieces, with the source of its devastation striking it in the very center.  When the Colonel took in the sight of bright red liquid dripping from the wall behind the mirror, his brain immediately sent his body into overdrive, and he hurried to find Edward.

Curled up behind the porcelain toilet, the blonde gave a small sniffle to indicate his whereabouts to the distressed man, and Mustang immediately went to him.

“Ed?” As the boy turned to face him, Roy sucked in a mouthful of air in shock.  His golden eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, and his lower lip trembled with the hitch of his labored breathing.  Roy could scarcely remember a time when he had seen Edward appear so forlorn.  Even when his secret had been revealed to the office, the boy had never looked like this: like the entirety of his world had crumbled and he was lost with nowhere to go.  

“Ed, what happened?  Is everything alright?”  Edward laughed humorlessly at the question, as he reached up to wipe his nose with the left forearm.

“Yeah.  Everything’s fucking _peachy_ ,”  he replied bitterly.  Roy took in the condition of his subordinate’s bleeding hand and gently wrapped a clean towel around the wound, being sure to keep pressure on the cut.  Gently, the older man cupped Edward’s face in his hands and ran his thumbs over the skin, forcing the teen to look him in the eyes.

“What happened?”  The golden eyes immediately broke away to stare at the shower curtain and, for a moment, Roy was doubtful the blonde would answer.

“... Granny’s too insightful for her own good, that’s what happened.  And now Al probably won’t ever talk to me again...  It’s the first time he’s ever hung up the phone on me..  I bet he hates me. S’pose he has a right to, though..”  Wordlessly, Roy swept the boy up into his arms and carried him, bridal style, back into the bedroom so he could lay down and rest.  The Colonel’s soft pink lips ghosted over Edward’s temple and the blonde’s body gave a shiver at the contact.

“Talk to me, Ed...  You’re scaring me.”  Edward tried, unsuccessfully, to turn away from the man’s searching gaze and finally relented when he determined the action to be futile.  Edward sat on the bed, cross-legged, and patted the space beside him.  

“... Sit down, okay?”  The raven haired man blinked twice as he processed the instruction, and stayed where he was.

“What?”  Edward huffed in annoyance, looking at Mustang with tired eyes.  

“Just... sit.”  Roy did as he was told, and sat on the bed- very near to the blonde- only to have Edward move away slightly.  It was as though the boy was trying to put as much space between them as possible without it being awkward.

It was still awkward.

The Fullmetal Alchemist inhaled deeply and tried to stop his mind from running all over the place.  He knew he had to explain.  He knew that Roy deserved to know.  And he knew that it was going to hurt like hell.

Tenderly, he took Roy’s hand in both of his and sighed. 

“When I was transmuted into a chimera... It was as though I was starting my life over completely.  I was a newly born cat-human cross.”  At his pause, the older man looked at him expectantly, prompting him to continue.

“The life expectancy of an average human male is right around fifty years.  But I’m not an average human male..  Under normal circumstances, my own life expectancy, as a chimera, would fall at about twenty-five years... the same as Sam... since dogs and cats are pretty much neck-and-neck in their life spans.”  Edward closed his eyes, shutting them tight against reality as he felt a tear trickle down the side of his face.  

“But... the automail... and the stress of the transmutations..  They’ve both taken off a couple of years of my life...”  He choked on his words, his breath coming to him with more difficulty now as he began to sob outright.  Roy’s grip tightened on his hands and Edward realized, for the first time, that the man was trembling.

“Edward... please...”  he gasped, face contorted in pain.  “.. Please, no more.  I can’t listen any longer.  Please..”  The blonde took his lower lip between his teeth, silently cursing himself for causing so much pain and sadness in the ones he loved.  It was his fault...  All his fault..

“I’m so sorry, Roy...” he sobbed, curling in on himself slightly as he struggled to maintain his sanity.  “God... I’m so sorry...”  The Flame Alchemist made no reply, and a part of him registered that he had most likely gone into shock.

Edward was _dying_.

The revelation stunned Roy more than he had ever thought possible.  Here, the Fullmetal Alchemist sat, looking as beautiful and healthy as ever with tears streaming down his face, his moist golden eyes promising the Colonel a future that they would no longer share together.  And it fucking _hurt_..  His heart felt as though it had shattered.  Like it been made of glass, and the news of Edward’s failing health had caused it to burst into a million tiny shards.

“Ho.. How long?”  His broken voice echoed in the small room as his exhausted frame slumped back against the headboard.  The Colonel allowed his eyes to drift shut, reaching up and covering them with his forearm, and heard Edward shuffle his weight on the bed.

“I still have a year or two left, I’d imagine...  I’m not in any imminent danger of keeling over on you, Mustang.”

“How can you act so casually?!”  The man ripped his hands away from his face, slapping them down angrily on the mattress, and glared daggers at the chimera.  Edward jumped at his tone, and his ears pressed back tight against his skull as his eyes widened in apparent fear.

“R-Roy...”  Still seated in bed, the Flame Alchemist buried his head in his hands and rubbed his tired eyes, refusing to succumb to the ever-threatening tears.  After a short pause, Roy returned his attention to the boy before him and sighed in exasperation.

“Dammit, Ed!  You talk about it like you’re taking a small vacation!  You’re fucking _dying!_ ”  Roy breathed heavily and stared at the teen before him.  Edward’s eyes were lowered to the bed... his fists clenched in the sheets... and the only movement he made was the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

“I know that I’m dying, Roy...  But I’ve known about it for a long time, and there’s nothing that can be done to change that fact.  I’m not going to just sit here and cry over it.  It’s the way of the world.  As an alchemist, you should know that.  One is all, and all is one.  All things are connected to each other.  My life is no more important than any other person in the world..”

“It is to me.”  Edward glanced up at this profession, allowing for shock to momentarily color his features before chuckling half-heartedly.

“Don’t get all mushy on me, Colonel.”  The beautiful golden eyes, which Roy had irrevocably fallen in love with, bore into his with a sorrow so intense, it plucked the strings of his own grief like a well-tuned harp.  Edward smiled at the man.  “I’ve had a good life... and I’m proud that I can at least say that..  Sure, I’ve made a bunch of mistakes... but if it hadn’t been for those lapses in judgement, I never would have gotten the chance to meet you or anyone else I care about.”  The Flame Alchemist knew that it must have taken a lot for his lover to admit such feelings so openly, and it touched him in a way he could have never imagined.

“Ed..”  Roy generously open his arms wide, wordlessly offering the alchemist the small bit of comfort.  And, as the Colonel knew he would, Fullmetal silently fit himself neatly against the man’s chest, snuggling deep into the embrace and laying his head on a bare shoulder.  He realized with a start that both were still completely nude from the night’s activities, and the close proximity of the lovers, with Edward huddled up against his chest- fingers drawing soft patterns on the Colonel’s ivory skin- was oddly comforting.  It was a moment of such emotional intimacy that, on any normal occasion, it would have nagged at the back of Mustang’s subconscious.  But there was nothing there.  Only blissful silence.  And Edward.

 _His_ Edward.

“I wanted to ask you something, Roy...”  The blonde angel sighed into his shoulder.

“Don’t you dare say something heartless or I’ll deck you..”  He could practically feel Edward’s smile flutter across his right shoulder, and Roy’s skin tingled in the spot where the pink lips had graced the surface.

“No, no, nothing like that...” A pause.  Mustang waited patiently for the teen to continue.  When he finally did, the Colonel’s heart gave a painful lurch.  “It’s a high possibility that I’m only going to be around for two more years.”  How was that anything but heartless?  Edward certainly had a knack for touching sore spots..

“Do you think it’d be alright if I spent the first of those last years doing whatever I need to in order to restore Al’s body?  I’d like to do what I can before I’m no longer able t-”  

“Stop.”  Edward glance up at his commander and made a noise of confusion.  The onyx eyes were screwed tightly together, and the man’s lips were pressed into a thin, hard line.

“Please stop talking like that, Edward.  I can’t take it.”  Abruptly, the blonde sat up straight in his lover’s arms, back going rigid at the notion that he had made yet another person cry over him.  Mismatched hands lifted up to lovingly stroke the sides of the man’s jawline, pleading with him not to break down.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to cry.  Fuck, Roy, please don’t.  I’ll lose my shit if both you and Al start crying on me.”  A single eye cracked open, and the grief which shone in the dark iris caused Edward to inhale sharply.

“I’m not going to cry.”  Roy tightened his grip around the kneeling boy in his lap and buried his face into the toned chest.  He felt Edward’s arms wrap, hesitantly, around the back of the Colonel’s head as the man tried to win control over his raging emotions.  “Crying over this would mean that I accept it, even just a little bit.  And I refuse to acknowledge the fact that you’re just going to sit back and allow yourself to die.”  Edward rolled his eyes, running his fingers through the ebony strands of hair.

“I already told you, I-”  Mustang sat up quickly, startling Edward into falling onto his back on the bed.

“And I told you, Edward, that I’m not willing to sit back and watch you give up!  If you want to go off into the world to find a way of bringing your brother back, then go.  I won’t stop you.  But just know that I’ll be right here, hard at work looking for a way of returning you back to normal, when you do come home.  And when that day comes, I hope you won’t have forgotten me.”  The fury in his eyes was evident, and the blonde felt shame grip his heart like a vice.  This was his fault.  This was the pain and anguish his mistake had caused.  He sat up shakily, placing his weight on his forearms as he lifted himself onto his elbows.

“... Roy...”  The man looked away, biting his lower lip.  Edward forced himself to crawl towards his lover, begging the older man to look at him as he took his face in his hands.  “How can you even think that?”  Softly... gently... Mustang leaned in and touched his lips to the blonde’s.  This action caused an instantaneous response as all the hidden anger and grief suddenly burst from Edward’s body in a strangled sob.  The boy allowed himself to fall limply against his commander’s chest, only barely hearing the man’s words over his own agonized howling.

“I love you, Edward... for everything you are.  And I pray that, someday, you and I will be able to be happy together... without all this insanity.”  Edward hiccuped loudly into the soft skin on Roy’s chest, unable to contain the sobs which wracked his body.  The Colonel tenderly stroked through his lover’s blonde hair, soothing away all his pain and wishing, more than anything, that he could do something more for the boy.  A low mumbling stirred the man from his thoughts, and he glanced down at the teenager snuggled over his heart.

“What was that?”  Ed sniffled and lifted his head up slightly, so that he was able to talk without his voice being muffled.

“I said: ‘I... I love you, too’.”  He stammered, throwing in, under his breath, a quick, “damned Colonel,” before he was cut off with a searing kiss.

Wordlessly, Roy lowered the blonde back onto the mattress, covering every inch of the boy in soft kisses.  Wherever the man’s lips brushed on Edward’s skin, the surface tingled and burned as though on fire... and Edward loved every minute of it.  He writhed under the Colonel, making soft mewling noises as his tail flitted around to curl over Roy’s lower back, urging his closer.

Every touch was a caress.  Each kiss was their last.  They savored every moment as Roy slowly prepared the teenager’s body for that moment when they would become one.  Edward’s body was on fire, and his fingers- metal and flesh- dug into every inch of the Colonel’s skin: begging him for release.  Finally, Roy relented, and lowered his body on top of the younger alchemist’s- causing them both to moan at the wonderful sensation- as he entered the boy.

All the spoken words... all the murmured apologies... could never have lived up to this moment.  The passion, and raw emotion, in every finite movement of one man spoke volumes to the other and, by the time Edward was nearing his peak, he was in tears.  He clutched onto Roy, as though the man would suddenly disappear... or, perhaps more realistically, that Edward would disappear.  It wasn’t an over-exaggeration to say that Edward was terrified.  

After everything that had happened in his life... losing his humanity, watching his mother die, the transmutation, losing Al, becoming the military’s dog... was this really how it would all end?  Was this really it for him?  Was this what it was like... to die?

Edward climaxed with a sob, back arching high off of the mattress as he felt Roy fill him with his own release.  Surprisingly, it was the Colonel who held his lover long after their bodies managed to cool down.  What Edward had failed to realize was that he wasn’t alone in his fear.  Mustang was afraid as well... not for the first time in his life..  He couldn’t bear the thought of losing his beloved now that they were finally together.  He wouldn’t allow it to happen.  

He would find a way to return him to normal.  He would figure out some way to fix this atrocity... so that Edward could have a second chance at life.  Mustang glanced over, lovingly, at the sleeping child curled up against him.  His golden hair was fanned out over the sheets behind him and appeared fiery beneath the brilliant rays of sunlight peering through the window.  Gently, so as not to wake him, Roy brushed a stray lock from his lover’s peaceful face and over a feline ear and sighed contently.

He would find a way to save him.  He had to.

 

" ' : ; FIN ; : ' "

 

 

**NOTE: Sam is nine years old.  Edward is fifteen.  Sam will live to be twenty-six years old (because he deserves an extra year, dammit!), while Ed’s life-expectancy has been shortened drastically to fall at seventeen to eighteen years.

  


End file.
